


Love's Folly

by waroftheposes



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternative Universe - Pride and Prejudice, Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:50:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7710487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waroftheposes/pseuds/waroftheposes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Tell me about Mr. Gansey,” Blue begins, the Monday before Gansey is due to arrive at Raven's Nest. “Better yet, tell me about him and the friend he is bringing.”</p><p>“Gansey is delightful, Ronan is an enigma. They are both incredibly wealthy, so our neighbors will be pushing daughters at their general direction," Adam responds. </p><p>Blue laughs. "Lucky us."</p><p>--</p><p>(a regency au)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A regency AU heavily influenced by Pride and Prejudice.

**I.**

Adam returns to Foxleigh on a warm summer evening. As his carriage passes the Manor’s gates, Adam closes his eyes and prepares himself for the crescendo of voices that will soon welcome him home. Adam had missed home. He’d had little time while away at University to come back for visits--and little money, though that had been an excuse. Blue wrote to him often while he was away, detailing the day to day events of Foxleigh, complaining about her aunts and sisters, wondering about Mr. Grey’s business, and missing Adam terribly. She claimed, often, that in his absence, she had been forced to become friends with her cousin Orla, which, according to her, might have been worse than befriending several angry geese. Adam suspects, however, that Blue was being dramatic in her letters, because he always finds affection buried in their lines--even for Orla.

Now Adam is back to the place that has been his home since he was 14 years old. The people at Foxleigh, more family to him than his own father and late mother ever were, will soon greet him with warm words and open arms.Adam, even as he enters the property, feels the longing ache for their company.

The carriage stops and the footman opens the door. Adam takes a deep breath and steps out, and is immediately greeted by the smiling faces of Blue, her mother, and her mother’s friends. Adam’s not sure who pulls him into an embrace first, but he eventually finds himself in Blue’s arms. She holds him for several breaths, during which time Adam begins to relax, his nerves settling, and once she pulls back, he has to free one of his arms from her hold to wipe at his eyes.

“Crying to see me?” Blue teases. Adam studies her face, although she’s smiling at him, her eyes look a bit misty as well.

“To be home, finally,” Adam answers honestly.

“Oh dear,” Blue responds. “I cannot poke fun at you for that.”

Adam feels Maura’s arm behind his back and turns to catch her watching the two of them with affection.

“She will try,” Maura says, then shoos Calla and Persephone away. “Come in, Adam, you must be tired.”

Adam walks back with Maura and Blue, a servant taking his bags to his rooms, and they ask him about his journey, about the last few months of school, about his friends.

Adam asks about Mr. Grey.

“He has gone away,” Blue responds, with a shrug. “To visit the dreaded cousin.”

“Surely,” Adam begins carefully. “Mr. Grey is not old enough for succession talks.”

Blue sits him down at a sofa as Marua leaves to order him some refreshments. She leans in to whisper in his ear, conspiratorial. “According to Mr. Grey, no time is soon enough for his nephew.”

“I am sorry,” he says to her, not because she needs his sympathy, but because he feels it so strongly. “He is more a father to you than anyone has ever been.”

Blue shrugs. “My mother knew that only her money would go to me once she married him. This is why,” here she stopped and assumed a very conceited look. “You must marry rich, dear cousin, just like the rest of us.”

Adam laughs at her, at her disgusted tone and her affected air. “Well, you must,” he says, trying to regain his composure, and failing.

“If only I were a man,” Blue sighs, looking him up and down. “Then my stepfather could finance my education and I would need no one.”

Adam hums, taking her hand in his, and settling more comfortably on the couch.

“Oh I would be educated just so I could stop hearing Orla insist that I must get married,” Blue continues.

“She wants what is best for you,” Adam reasons. “And you know, you must know, that you can always stay with me.”

Blue looks at him, fondness an already familiar thing in her gaze. “I cannot live with you Adam, not unless we marry, and we both deserve love.”

Adam furrows his brows. “You are my sister, we can live together and wait for your love to appear.”

“You think that now,” Blue says, “But you did not think this way when you first moved in with us, and I can assure you, people,” she says the last word with unending disgust, “will not think us brother and sister, but as scandalous marks upon society.”

Adam feels a pang at her words. He knows she does not mean to be cruel, bringing up his attachment to her as a boy, but still it hurts. He tries to ignore it, focusing instead, on her disdain for society, her strong desire to become her own person, to marry for love.

“You can marry for love,” Adam says to her. “And if he is not rich, the two of you may stay with me as long as you wish.”

“Because you will be, what, extremely wealthy?” Blue asks, a twinkle back in her eyes.

“At least a local politician,” Adam counters. “More wealthy than whatever scoundrel you’ll fall in love with.”

Blue shakes her head at him while a servant informs them that refreshments are available in the dining room. The two of them stand, although Blue begs off some time to go and get her needlework. Adam dines alone, although nothing about that bothers him. When he had first moved into Foxleigh, after his mother’s death and his father’s public disgrace, all he had wanted was to be surrounded by people so as to not be alone with his own thoughts. Maura and her family had obliged him. Blue had been his constant companion. But now, having graduated from university, Adam has no such qualms about the quality time he spends within his own head. He is no longer as afraid of what he can find there.

Maura joins him soon after he finishes his food, and wants to discuss his plans for the future. She lets him know that her house, Mr. Grey’s house, is his own unless he wishes to move out, for as long as he wants. Adam smiles at her, mumbles that he has some half plans and some contacts from University. She pats him again, this time more firmly, and leaves him to entertain himself until dinner.

Adam watches her leave, then decides to take a stroll outside. He is only out the door when the postman finds him, a letter addressed to him in his hands. Adam thanks the man as he turns the letter over, sees the who it is from, and chuckles to himself. He bids the postman good day and finds his way towards a park bench to read.

The letter is from his college friend, Gansey and begins thus:

 

_My Dear Adam,_

_I cannot believe that it has only been two days since you left us, it already feels like an eternity. I am writing to you to inform you of my post-university plans. As you know, I am eager to recruit you for myself, although you vehemently oppose the idea. I wish you would reconsider traveling with me, at least for some time, as I am sure you are tired of studying for months on end. We all deserve a break, Adam, you more than most._

_But this is not why I am writing you. I am writing to let you know that I have rented a Park in the neighborhood of Foxleigh Manor. I hear there are reputed crumbling and ancient ruins and medieval hills in that area of the country. I sincerely hope that I have not been mislead. The house is being prepared for us as I write you and I am eager to see you once more. Your company, my dear friend, means more to me than that of the entire London society, and I sincerely hope that this move will not trouble you._

_We are expected to take up at Raven’s Nest Park in two weeks. I will bring my friend and your acquaintance Ronan Lynch with me. My sister may join us too, although that is completely up to her. For now, your company, and that of your relations, will hold me over._

_I await your response,_  

_Your friend,_

_Richard C. Gansey III_

 

Adam reads the letter twice, attempting to control his emotions. His emotions are easily explained as two warring factions. On the one hand, Adam is ecstatic that Gansey will be within riding distance for the unforeseeable future. Gansey is Adam’s best friend, the first friend Adam made at university and by far, the most true. On the other, he knows why Gansey chose to take up Raven’s Nest Park, and it is not for the sake of ancient ruins or medieval hills; it is because Gansey wishes to convince Adam to travel with him, at least for a time. Gansey had been relentless during the last month of school, asking Adam regularly whether he would reconsider, but Adam had been wavering. Now, Gansey is becoming his neighbor, most likely with the sole object of convincing Adam to join his posse and travel the country, and research English history. Gansey does not grasp that compared to him, Adam is destitute. The small estate Adam’s father owns and its income are used for Adam’s father’s benefit and nothing else. Gansey wishes Adam to travel the country with him and act as romantic poets do, but Adam needs to make a living, in the likely event that his father’s estate is in severe debt.

Adam sighs, putting the letter aside. He is glad that Gansey will arrive soon, glad to have his company again, even glad that Gansey wishes for Adam’s company so desperately that he is willing to relocate to the county for Adam’s sake.

Adam is glad. Adam is very glad.

_And I am very nervous._

_\--_

That night, after Maura and the servants have retired, and while Adam is reading in bed, there is a small knock on Adam’s door.

“Come in,” Adam says softly, and the door creaks open to reveal Blue, wearing her nightgown and looking like a ghost.

“You’re not asleep,” she states.

Adam shrugs. “Wanted to do some reading before bed.”

Blue takes a seat at the edge of Adam’s bed and looks like she is struggling to say something.

“What is it?” Adam asks, putting his book away and giving Blue all his attention.

“My mom didn’t want me to tell you this, but I think it’s not wise to keep it from you.” She stops and takes a deep breath. “Your father visited us last month, asking about you.”

A chill run down Adam’s back. The thought of his father in this house, sitting in the chairs in the parlor, having a conversation with Maura, makes him want to crawl under his blankets and never come out. With difficulty, he asks Blue, “What did he want?”

Blue shrugs. “He wanted to know where you were, how long you’d been gone, who was paying for you to go to school…”

“As if he does not know that my mother left me some money before his neglect took her away,” Adam spits out.

“He pretended like he didn’t,” Blue goes on, more gentle now, seeing Adam’s clear distress. “Mr. Grey arrived a little after your father did, and your father left in a hurry.”

Adam smiles, feeling satisfaction. “He is afraid of your father.”

“He is afraid of Mr. Grey, yes,” Blue says, not wanting to refer to Mr. Grey as her father, “he also does not know that you’re back, and if I have anything to say about it, he never will.”

Adam nods. “Thank you for telling me.”

“It was your right to know,” Blue responds, then, “I saw the postman give you a letter this afternoon, who was it from?”

Adam contemplates telling her about Gansey’s letter, Gansey’s desire to add Adam to his permanent posse, and Gansey’s plans. After a moment, he decides that there is no harm in telling her.

“It was from my friend Gansey,” Adam says, “he has taken Raven’s Nest Park.”

“What? Rented it?” Blue asks, sounding shocked.

Adam nods. “For now, he wants to be near me.”

“Are you so important to him?” Blue sounds suspicious, like she does not understand why Adam’s friendship would make someone move into their part of the country. Adam tries not to take offense.

“Gansey has only three close friends, and one of them is his cousin. He is bringing his other friend with him to Raven’s Nest, so I would say yes, yes I am.”

Blue looks impressed. “I’m happy you’ve found such good friends.”

“Friend, Blue, singular,” Adam corrects. “Gansey’s other friends are not necessarily mine.”

“Is he very rich?” Blue asks after a few minutes of silence.

Adam nods an affirmative.

“Then we have to keep Orla away from him,” Blue smiles. “She would not leave the poor man alone.”

“Orla would not interest him,” Adam says, his mind now on the type of woman that would appeal to Gansey. He thinks, temporarily, that Blue would fit his type. “He is mostly interested in political struggles in medieval England and crumbling old castles.”

“Is he handsome?” Blue asks, ignoring Adam’s statement.

Adam nods again.

“Then Orla will not care,” Blue says triumphantly. “She will go after him like…a fly after honey?”

Adam hums an agreement. “Still, he would not marry her.”

Blue regards him for a moment. “Would he marry you?”

The question elicits a laugh out of Adam. “Oh, God no,” Adam says as he laughs. “He is not interested in men romantically.”

“That’s fair,” Blue reasons. “Tell me about him.”

Adam thinks of Gansey, of nights spent in the library, studying for exams. He thinks of trips to dangerously old castles with Gansey and his friend Ronan Lynch. He thinks of the time he and Ronan tried to convinced Gansey to jump into the river in the middle of winter, and how Gansey had almost done it to please them. To Blue he says, “Gansey is delightful, the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Blue frowns at him. “I thought I was your best friend.”

Adam reaches out to stroke her hair, she slaps his hand away. “You’re my sister, Blue, that is different.”

“Whatever,” Blue says, but the corners of her mouth twist up in a smile. “What about the friend he’s bringing.”

“Ronan?” Adam asks. What of Ronan? He is Gansey’s old friend, who has little interest in studying and even less interest in working. He would show up to school often and stay with Gansey for long periods of time, then disappear to Ireland.

“Irish?” Blue asks, sounding a bit hesitant.

“Problem?” Adam counters.

“No...Fascinating, and how does he know your Gansey?” Blue asks.

Adam shrugs. “You can ask him yourself once he comes here. Truth be told, I don’t really know him that well.” Or… At all. Ronan has never been a friendly person, and at school Adam was too busy to care to befriend Gansey’s mostly hostile friend.

“Is he handsome too?” Blue asks, teasing.

Adam thinks of Ronan’s angular features, of his icy blue eyes and even more chilling gaze, of the way Ronan’s smile is never really a smile, but a declaration of war.

“He is,” Adam says after a moment, lost in thought.

“More so than Gansey?”

Adam looks at her sharply. She sounds...amused, like something Adam has done entertains her. He feels annoyance at her tone.

“You can decide for yourself when you see them,” he informs her.

Blue pouts at him but lets the subject be. She asks him for the details of Gansey’s arrival, whether Gansey and his friend will come and dine with them often, and whether she should remove all the eligible women out of the county so as to not scare Adam’s friends. Adam snorts at her, pushing her off the bed with his feet.

“Go to sleep, Blue,” he says affectionately.

She gives him one last smile and leaves the room.

\--

For the next two weeks, Blue keeps bringing him town gossip about Gansey.

“Apparently,” Blue begins the next Monday. “Your friend Gansey is set to inherit ten thousand pounds a year and has two secret wives, one hidden in Yorkshire and the other in Devon. Rumor is, he’s come here looking for the third one.”

Adam frowns at her. “Well, one of those things is true.”

Blue’s mouth drops open. “The ten thousand a year?”

Adam nods. “He is ridiculously wealthy, as I told you before.”

Blue exhales, sounding overwhelmed. “That was just one rumor though, listen to me, I only heard that from one person, the other rumors are more prevalent.”

Despite his better judgment, Adam asks her, “What are the more prevalent rumors?”

“That his parents are trying to marry him off to a cousin and that’s why he’s running away here,” Blue says. “Those rumors say he’s destitute, and the cousin is rich.”

Adam laughs. “Well no, neither of those things are true.”

“That’s good,” Blue responds. “Should I start the rumor that he’s moving into the neighborhood to win your love?”

Adam pushes her away with some force. “You will not.”

They drop the subject of Gansey then, but Adam hears people talking almost every day until Gansey’s actual arrival. Once the servants permanently move in, Gansey’s inheritance becomes common knowledge, and so does all the local mothers’ desire to introduce their unwed daughters to him. Calla even stops by to let Blue know that it is her duty to marry someone as rich as their new neighbor. Adam, who is reading by the window, catches her eyes and tries his best not to laugh.

When Gansey does arrive, two weeks after his letter to Adam, he wastes no time in summoning Adam to himself. The residents of Foxleigh Manor--and their relatives and friends by extension--who had no knowledge of Adam’s acquaintance with their new neighbor, spend so much time admonishing him in keeping such an important detail to himself, that Adam is forced to write Gansey a note saying he is unable to attend him that day and hoping, sincerely, that he could do so the next day.

True to his word, Adam leaves Foxleigh at dawn the next day, before the disgruntled inhabitants find him. There are hardly any clouds in the sky, so Adam saddles a horse and rides there alone. He is not surprised to find both Gansey and Ronan are awake when he arrives. Neither of the men have much luck sleeping at night. Adam knows of Gansey’s insomnia because he’s spent so much time with the man at school. He’s not certain how he’s aware of Ronan’s.

They’re eating breakfast when the footman announces Adam, and Gansey shakes Adam’s hand with unbelievable joy.

“You know, you should have come yesterday,” Gansey says as he directs Adam towards the table. “We didn’t mind that you would be late, did we Ronan?”

Ronan Lynch, who had nodded a hello to Adam and returned promptly to his food, glances up at the two of them and shrugs. “Would’ve been nice to see Parrish, since we’re here for his sake.”

Adam bristles at that, not at the truth of it, but at Ronan’s tone. “I’m sure you didn’t mind at all, did you, Lynch?”

Ronan gives him a predatory smile, all sharp teeth and no warmth. “I minded very much.”

Adam rolls his eyes but refrains from letting Ronan get to him. Although Adam hasn’t spent too much time with Ronan Lynch, he knows the man well enough to understand that Ronan loves to get under people’s skin more than anything.

“My family and friends were very unhappy with me,” Adam says, turning to Gansey. “You’ve become a legend already--”

“What with your vast sums of money,” Ronan cuts in.

Adam glares at him, but it’s the truth, so he shrugs and continues. “With your vast sums of money,” he can see Ronan grinning from his peripheral vision, “and I had not told anyone but my sister that I know you.”

Gansey frowns, looking genuinely put off. “Why did you not tell anyone, Adam?” And the question implied is: _Are you afraid to let others know you are my friend?_

Which is ridiculous, because that thought is so far from the truth. Adam almost laughs. “I didn’t tell anyone because everyone in this neighborhood is nosey and would not have left me alone until I told them all of your secrets.”

Gansey’s frown deepens. “I don’t have any secrets.”

Adam sighs. “I know that, my friend, but they don’t. And you’re rich, so they won’t believe me when I tell them you’re scandal-free.”

Gansey is satisfied with that answer and changes the subject to Adam’s family.

“They are good,” Adam says. “Not altered much since I last saw them, except…” he hesitates as he is about to tell Gansey of his father’s visit, an old habit from his earlier university years, however, the moment passes and Adam moves on. “Blue told me that my father visited once, when I was still at university. He asked after me.”

Gansey, bless his heart, looks very serious. Next to Adam, Ronan’s stance becomes tense. Neither of them say a word.

“Mr. Grey came and apparently scared my father away.”

Gansey takes a deep breath, as if preparing himself for a speech, then begins speaking. “This is why you should not live in Foxleigh, Adam. Move in here with us, we have plenty of room.”

Adam sighs, looking from Gansey to Ronan, feeling frustrated. “Gansey…”

Gansey raises a hand to silence Adam, probably before Adam can begin listing his objections. “I know you feel the need to stay with your family, and I understand that, but I want you to know, you are always welcome here.”

Adam nods and tries to smile at his closest friend. “I will consider it.” He glances at Ronan then, wishing to see his reaction, but Ronan Lynch is carefully inspecting his nails, his face devoid of emotion. “If both you and Lynch are willing to live with me.”

Ronan looks up then, looking from Gansey to Adam. Gansey is watching him expectantly. “Why does he need my permission?” he asks Gansey, sounding annoyed. “It’s your house.”

Gansey continues staring.

“Fine,” Ronan finally says, sounding put upon. “Parrish, if you were to join us at Raven’s Nest, it would not be any skin off my back.”

Adam chuckles, “I feel like that is a very high endorsement from you.”

Ronan smirks and nods. “Very high indeed.”

“So you will do it?” Gansey asks, sounding hopeful.

“I will think on it,” Adam responds, trying to sound firm to stop Gansey from arguing the point further.

“Leave the man alone, Gansey,” Ronan says as he stands from his chair, his breakfast finished. “You’ve seen him for the first time in a month, nagging him won’t make him want to stay with you.”

Surprised, both Adam and Gansey watch Ronan stretch slowly and leave the room. When he is gone, Gansey turns to Adam.

“When can I meet your family?” he asks Adam, presumably having taken Ronan’s advice and dropped the subject of Adam moving in.

“There is a ball tomorrow, have you been invited?” Adam asks. “It’s a private ball, so it should be a good enough place to meet everyone.”

Gansey looks excited. “And your sister is the person you’d like me to meet most, yes?”

Adam laughs, nodding. “She’s a delight really, but be careful around her.”

Gansey cocks his head in question.

“She is very spirited.”

The conversation drifts to more trivial matters after that.

\--

Adam arrives at the ball with Blue and Maura the next night to see Gansey and Ronan have already arrived. Ronan is sitting by himself in a corner, glaring at anyone who approaches him, but Gansey is surrounded by a group of people, looking at once charming and overwhelmed. Adam wishes to pull him away but societal rules dictate that he cannot, so he leaves Blue and Maura to their own devices and sits down besides Ronan.

Ronan greets him with a nod and a muttered, “Parrish.”

“How long have the two of you been here?” Adam asks after a few minutes of silence.

Ronan shrugs. “Too long, if you ask me, those people,” he points at the people surrounding Gansey, “surrounded us the minute we got here, I escaped of course--”

“Using your usual charm, I assume,” Adam says, teasing.

“Hey, it got me away from the vultures,” Ronan snaps.

“If they knew your worth they would not have left you alone, despite your horrible manners,” Adam counters. One of the few things Adam knows about Ronan is that after his father’s death, Ronan came into a large inheritance, and an estate, technically. Adam’s not sure how the estate inheritance works, since Ronan has an older brother. Gansey, however, has assured Adam that the estate in Ireland belongs equally to Ronan and both his brothers.

“Is that a challenge Parrish?”

Adam glances at Ronan and finds a glint in the man’s eyes. Sighing, Adam shakes his head.

“Give me a break, I was stating a fact, not issuing a challenge,” Adam says.

“You’re no fun,” Ronan grumbles, slouching in his chair. “I’m sure I can be unpleasant enough to repel even the most ambitious person in this room.”

Adam laughs at him. “You have not spent much time with the people in this room, Lynch.”

Before Ronan has a chance to respond, Gansey appears, sitting firmly on a chair and turning towards Adam.

“The people here are very friendly,” Gansey says, sounding breathless.

Adam and Ronan snort at the same time. Adam turns briefly towards Ronan, and they both shake their head at Gansey’s politeness.

“Friendly is one way to put it,” Adam says. “Have you met everyone?”

“Not your sister, although I have met her mother, aunt and cousins.”

“Delightful, are they not?” Adam asks, he turns again, to smile knowingly at Ronan, but Ronan is not looking at him.

“Delightful, yes,” Gansey says hesitantly. “Will you introduce me to Miss Sargent?”

“Of course.” Adams stands, as does Gansey, who gestures at Ronan to get up as well.

Ronan makes an annoyed noise but he too gets up.

Adam finds Blue standing with her cousins and gestures for her to join them. She comes willingly, with a smile, and looks particularly happy to meet Gansey and Ronan, until the two of them start talking.

“You are very small,” Ronan says after the introductions have been made. “How are you so small?”

“Ronan,” Gansey hisses at him. “That is not polite conversation.” To Blue he says. “Excuse him, he doesn’t know how to behave in society.”

Blue looks between the two of them, somewhat baffled. “Well,” she says finally. “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Lynch.”

Ronan furrows his brows and walks away. The three of them look after him. After a moment, Gansey smiles apologetically at both Adam and Blue. “I will go… and find him.”

Adam doesn’t see Gansey for the rest of the ball, although he does find Ronan briefly. Later, when they are traveling back to Foxleigh, Adam thinks that Blue looks angry. He wonders why, but does not wish to bring up the subject in front of Maura. He does not have to wait long to be presented with Blue’s horrible mood, however. As soon as he has settled in his room, there is a knock at the door. Blue enters before Adam has a chance to say “enter.”

“Your friends are intolerable,” Blue says, throwing herself on Adam’s desk. “Mr. Lynch is rude and unbearable, and your dear Gansey might be worse.”

Adam gawks at her. “What?”

Blue fixes her angry stare at him. “You did not tell me they could be so cruel,” and there is a hint of pain in her voice.

Adam sits next to her, worried. “What happened, Blue?”

Blue bites her lip, looking down at her hands. “It is not worth it, even for me to recount.”

“It is worth it if it has hurt your feelings,” Adam says softly. “Tell me, I am here for you.”

Blue looks at him then, and Adam sees more hurt than anger in her eyes.

“After you left me, I was wondering around alone, and I saw your friends arguing, so I approached, but then I heard my name…”

“Go on,” Adam encourages.

“I do not know what Mr. Lynch said, clearly something unpleasant by the look on his face, but I did hear what Mr. Gansey said, and Adam… it was hurtful.”

“What did Gansey say?”

“He told Lynch that he understood that my looks were barely tolerable,” here she stops, sighs, and looks away. “But that does not give him the right to be rude to me. As if he, himself was not being rude.”

Adam regards her silently, less surprised by Gansey’s words than the way Blue reacted to them. “I’m sure Gansey meant no harm,” he says gently, taking her hand in his and squeezing it. “He was merely defending you.”

“Defending me by insulting my looks.” She pulls her hand out of his. “How can you be on his side?”

“I am on your side, Blue,” Adam states. “However, I did not know that you were so reliant on your looks as a source of your charm.”

Blue watches him silently, poison in her eyes.

“And I was not aware that you cared so much what my friend Gansey thought of your looks.”

She looks furious at that. “I do not!”

“Then why does it matter what he thinks?” Adam continues. “I admit, he was crass and out of place, but, shrug it off. Gansey’s opinion of your looks is unimportant. He finds mossy walls and portraits of medieval knights beautiful.”

Blue laughs, but Adam can tell it’s not genuine.

“That’s not all,” she says after her laughter runs out. “Later I saw Gansey and he tried to make conversation…”

“Oh no,” Adam cuts her off, half jokingly. “I am afraid to ask what happened next?”

“You should be,” Blue says, not sounding amused. “After boring me for about a minute with his compliments to the host and the food and god knows what else, I asked him whether he liked to dance. He said no, not really, and then he wondered whether I did.”

Adam nods, remaining quiet.

“I told him I love to dance, however there are not many gentlemen at the ball, at which point he offered to pay someone to dance with me.”

Blue sounds outraged once more, and Adam, who finds the exchange rather funny, tries his best to keep his laughter to himself.

“I am not pathetic enough,” Blue continues,“to need someone to find me a partner with money. Mind you, I told him this, and he stammered out an apology and tried to explain that he meant no harm. I walked away from him, propriety be damned.”

“Gansey is an idiot,” Adam says. “He really did not mean harm. He thought to help you in the only way he knows how.”

Blue raises her eyebrows incredulously. “I do not believe you.”  
“I promise you, he meant no harm, Gansey is somewhat…”

“Stupid?” Blue asks. “Dense? Unable to talk to women without implying that they are pathetic without his money?”

“Oblivious to the plight of those with less money than him. But I assure you, he thought he was helping. Give him another chance?”

Blue shakes her head. “Perhaps, if he can redeem himself… I am willing to be in his company again.”

Adam feels the urge to hug her. “Thank you.”

“Although I do not understand how you can be friends with either of them,” Blue continues. “Lynch offended me very much, but I think Gansey is even less tolerable.”

Adam shrugs. “Lynch is not so bad either, but he can be unbearable sometimes.”

“And your friend Gansey is friends with him.”

Adam nods, suddenly wishing to move on from the topic of Gansey and Ronan. He’d been hopeful in introducing Blue and Gansey, hopeful that they’d get along, hopeful even that they would be fond of each other. He does not like the bitter taste of disappointment. “Tell me about the rest of your evening.”

Blue recounts her night to him, and Adam falls asleep, listening to her complain about her cousin and several of her dance partners.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my beta who is literally the only reason I can ever post my stories in public.
> 
> You might have noticed that this story more than heavily relies on Pride and Prejudice. Blue and Gansey are actually based on Elizabeth and Darcy--Although Gansey is also based on Mr. Bingley. Adam and Ronan are both made up characters. Their story specifically, is not based at all on Pride and Prejudice. Blue and Gansey's story will somewhat play in the background of this fic.
> 
> This fic is actually finished. I'm going to be posting a chapter every day or so, so it should all be uploaded within a short time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Blue visit Raven's Nest and rain has a vendetta against them all.

**II.**

During breakfast the next day, Adam receives an invitation for himself to visit Raven’s Nest. It’s from Gansey, and contains one crucial, and very excruciating request --well, excruciating if you are Blue Sargent and plagued with aunts and acquaintances that want the best for you.

Gansey’s letter finishes with:

_“We’ll be glad if you were to bring your sister or any other family member you wish us to know better.”_

Everyone but Blue is too delighted to even take into consideration the fact that Gansey had not brought a sister or a mother or anyone of the female sex to Foxleigh. Blue reiterated that fact and brought up also, the fact that it would be quite improper for her to spend a day with unmarried gentlemen who are not related to her.

Her words fall on deaf ears and she fumes as her aunt and cousin Orla order the maids to dress and do her hair. Adam watches from the breakfast table, amused but a bit apprehensive. He understands that Gansey wishes to see him, but he doesn’t really think Gansey knows how much Blue already dislikes him. He’s not sure whether this excursion would make Blue like Gansey any more, and he is very eager to have the two of them like each other.

As Blue is whisked away, Adam goes to see if the carriage is free. Unfortunately, it is not and he watches in horror as Calla explains to him that he and Blue have to go on horseback. The weather looks impossibly gloomy and Adam is certain it will rain. However, he does not object. He does inform Calla that if the two of them catch their death on the way to Raven’s Nest, Blue is likely to come back and haunt her.

“I’ll take those chances,” Calla says with a smile.

Blue’s mood shifts slightly as they ride towards Raven’s Nest, and Adam begins hoping that she might even become cheerful by the time they reach it. But as luck would have it, halfway through their journey, it starts to rain.

“Calla wanted this,” Blue mutters, her mood dropping to all new lows. “This is why the carriage was busy.”

Adam shakes his head, trying to keep his own mood light and failing. The rain beats down on his shoulders and he is shuddering as he says, “I’m sure she can’t take credit for making it rain, Blue.”

“I’m sure she can,” Blue counters, and they fall silent.

The rain does not stop, not because the two of them are cold and not because they are soaked. It rains until they reach Raven’s Nest, shivering and gloomy, and it rains even more as Gansey fusses over them.

“I have clean clothes for you Adam,” Gansey says as they follow him from corridor to corridor, dripping water all over his clean floors. “But for Miss Sargent…” he trails off, throwing open the door to a room.

“I’ll wear whatever you have too,” Blue says irritably. “I don’t mind men’s clothes as long as they’re clean and dry.”

Gansey stammers at her, but complies. He directs one of the servants to get her some clothes and leaves her to it while he shows Adam to another room.

Adam dresses silently while Gansey waits outside, then Gansey takes him to a sitting room. Ronan is there, a book open in his lap, although he doesn’t seem to be reading it. Adam takes a seat on a sofa across from him.

“Blue did not want to come,” he says to Gansey. “She might hate you even more now because of your invitation.”

Gansey, who has sat down on a chair, looks surprised at the statement. “What do you mean, ‘hate me more’?”

Adam sighs, rubbing his temples with his hands. His body is still cold, although his clothes are dry and comfortable, and he wishes he had a blanket to wrap around himself. “Gansey, you really must become more conscious of the words that leave your mouth.”

Across from Adam, Ronan snaps his book shut, looking up with interest. “Enlighten us, Parrish,” he chimes in with a mischievous smile.

Adam rolls his eyes at him. “My sister doesn’t like you either.”

“Wasn’t trying to be liked,” Ronan shrugs. “Unlike some people.”

Gansey glowers at them both. “Why does Miss Sargent not like me?”

“Well,” Adam begins, trying to find the most diplomatic way to tell Gansey of his rude behavior, “You offered to pay people to dance with her.”

Gansey opens his mouth in protest as Ronan begins chuckling.

“You can’t do things like that Gansey, it is offensive and implies that she…” Adam stops, hesitant to use the terms necessary to finish his statement.

Lucky for him, Ronan has no such hesitance. “You implied she was both desperate and a prostitute.”

Adam bites his lip and does not look at Gansey.

“It’s like killing two birds with one stone, if you were meaning to insult someone twice with one statement,” Ronan continues, sounding entirely too pleased about the situation for Adam’s comfort.

“I did not mean,” Gansey begins and stops, then determined, “I will apologize to her immediately.”

He stands to leave but Adam stops him with a gesture. “There is more.”

Gansey sits back down, a look of terror overcoming his face. Instead of looking at him, Adam turns his gaze at Ronan. Ronan looks pleased, as if he has just been given some very good news. Adam wonders at Ronan’s enjoyment of Gansey’s misery, then ignores it as irrelevant. The only reason Ronan finds this mess funny is because it is not important in his mind. Adam continues looking at Ronan while he speaks.

“When you followed after Ronan last night, Blue and I split up. I guess she found herself near you when the two of you were arguing,” Adam says. “She heard what you said about her looks Gansey.”

Adam shifts his gaze from Ronan’s surprised--but still delighted--face to Gansey. Gansey looks, if nothing else, slightly mollified.

“I know you meant no harm, but she does not know you,” Adam continues. “And she is not very happy with you.”

“I see,” Gansey says after a moment of silence.

“I have begged her to give you another chance,” Adam goes on. “Perhaps we might keep Mr. Lynch away from her, in case he ruins your second chance by accident.”

Ronan grins at Adam, and the statement brings a chuckle out of Gansey. “I will be more careful,” the latter says. “I really did not mean offense…”

“I know,” Adam reassures him. “Just prove that to Blue.”

\--

When Adam told Gansey and Ronan that he wished the latter to stay away from Blue, he really meant it. So when Blue emerges from her guest room a few hours later, her clothes and hair dry, Adam turns immediately to Ronan.

“Mr. Lynch,” he says pleasantly, “Would you like to take a walk outside with me?”

Ronan smirks knowingly, but shakes his head. “Not really, no. It was raining last time I checked.”

Adam stands up and walks towards the huge windows, although he knows very well that the rain has stopped. He gestures for Ronan to follow him, which Ronan does, then points outside. “I believe that is the sun, Mr. Lynch.”

Ronan, glances at Adam sideways, “I believe you’re correct.”

“So,” Adam continues, “A walk?”

“Fine,” Ronan sighs, and starts walking towards the door.

Adam follows him, sending Blue a reassuring look before leaving the room.

Ronan stays quiet while they exit the building.

“You know, Mr. Parrish,” he says once they’re outside, turning and walking backwards towards the gardens. “You’ve completely hurt my feelings.”

Adam rolls his eyes at him, but says nothing.

“I can’t believe that you would purposefully keep me away from your family like this, you have no faith in me.”

Adam smiles sweetly at him. “Perhaps I wanted some alone time with you, Mr. Lynch.”

“Perhaps you are full of shit.” A snort and Ronan begins running towards the garden, to where, he assures Adam with a shout, there is a creek and a small pond.

Adam follows at a slower pace, and when he finally reaches the pond, he finds Ronan sitting on the edge. He takes a seat next to Ronan and stares at the water.

“I wanted to give Gansey a chance to mend things with Blue,” Adam tells him after a while. “I did not think he would be able to do that with either of us there.”

“Tell me something,” Ronan says. “Do you want Gansey and Blue to marry?”

Surprised, Adam turns to look at him. “The thought didn’t cross my mind,” he says slowly. “I want them to like each other, because they are both important to me. But beyond that, I don’t know.”

Ronan raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Fair, although with the way your relatives were talking last night, I was certain you wished for her to marry him.”

“My relatives talk, because Blue has very little money to her name. But she is not one to marry for money,” Adam continues. “Anyways, Gansey seems so beyond it all to me that I wonder if he’ll ever fall in love.”

Ronan hums in response. “And me?”

“Honestly, Mr. Lynch, I don’t think I know you well enough to answer that question,” Adam says immediately. “But,” he continues, unable to help himself. “I believe you far more difficult to please than Gansey, so, I’d say you’re even less likely.”

Ronan laughs, the sound echoing in the quiet of the outdoors. “I also don’t like women.”

“Narrows your pool of candidates,” Adam supplies. “I predict that you’ll die alone.”

“Cursing Englishmen hopefully,” Ronan adds, still amused.

Adam laughs too, and watches as Ronan stretches his arm and lowers himself to the ground. He thinks of laying down next to him, but the move seems too intimate and improper to share with a person he does not know well. So he sits there, and resumes staring at the water, listening to the creek gurgle and the birds chirp.

Time passes, Adam thinks at least half an hour, until Ronan begins speaking again.

“I’m glad Gansey came here,” he says softly. “It reminds me of home.”

Adam glances at him, surprised. He’s never seen Ronan Lynch so peaceful. The lazy gaze he directs at Adam bears no trace of Ronan’s usual malice or contempt, and for a moment, Adam is unsure how to proceed, how to respond.

So he does what he is good at, he says the wrong thing. “Why would you share that with me?”

Ronan’s face doesn’t close off. Instead, his gaze shifts from lazy to curious. “You shared something about your family with me, I thought it only fair to share something with you.” Ronan shifts, putting his palms under his head and looking straight up at the sky. “After all,” he continues, “You said yourself, you do not know me very well.”

Adam hums in response. “I like to ride,” he says, unsure where that came from.

“Do you?” Ronan asks, and he’s interested. “Are we sharing more things now?”

Adam shrugs. “It’s the most interesting thing about me, I like to ride and I’m not bad at it.”

“I have an extensive tattoo,” Ronan counters and Adam turns to gape at him in surprise. “It drove my brother wild when I got it, which was the point really.”

Adam regards Ronan silently, wondering whether Ronan is lying. “Where did you get a tattoo?” He asks.

“After my father died,” Ronan begins, which is already a more serious topic than Adam had bargained for, “I left home for a year. I traveled, mostly with Gansey, but for a few months, I was on a ship. The sailors were eager to mark me with ink when I asked them about it.”

“I didn’t know this about you,” Adams says slowly. He begins wondering of the other things he doesn’t know about Ronan. “When did your father die?”

“I think I had turned 16 when it happened,” Ronan answers. “Anyways, Parrish, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

“I can see that,” Adam says with a smile. “You might be more interesting than I originally thought.”

“Aha, and you are apparently a pretty good seat. You have to show me,” Ronan says and stands up.

“What? Now?” Adam asks, surprised.

Ronan offers him a hand up, and Adam takes it, still a bit baffled. “No time like the present,” Ronan says, his dangerous smile back. “Anyways I don’t think Gansey has had sufficient time to get on Miss Sargent’s good graces.”

Adam concedes that Ronan might be right about that.

“She doesn’t have much of that, I’m assuming,” Ronan continues, leading Adam back to the building and towards the stables.

“See, this is why I didn’t want you around her,” Adam counters and walks into the stables behind Ronan.

\--

Adam was being a bit modest when he told Ronan that he was not bad at riding. Indeed, he is very, very good. He is, he proves to Ronan with satisfaction, a much better horseman than Ronan.

They ride around the park for hours, Ronan issuing challenges again and again as he loses every one. Adam takes the challenges, breathless from the exertion, exhilarated from his success. Finally Ronan calls a halt because it is time for dinner, although he refuses to admit defeat in any way.

“I did not lose to you, Parrish,” Ronan argues for what feels like the hundredth time, “I let you win.”

“Of course you did,” Adam responds, smiling.

“You are good though,” Ronan says, sounding impressed, which does wonders to Adam’s ego. “I did not think you would be.”

“You underestimated me as I underestimated you,” Adam says and lets his eyes roam over Ronan’s body. “Where exactly is your tattoo?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Ronan says and his tone shifts, now flirtatious where it was only teasing before.

Adam feels alarmed. He is not equipped to deal with flirtatious behavior from handsome men. “It is up to your wish,” he says awkwardly. “I’m not curious at all.”

His awkward answer effectively ends the conversation as they enter dining hall.

Gansey is sitting alone when they enter. He looks, if not miserable, at least troubled.

“Please tell me you offended Miss Sargent even more somehow,” Ronan says immediately. “Gansey please, I will do anything.”

Gansey levels a glare at him. “I did not offend Miss Sargent. She is… ill.”

“Ill?” Adam asks, alarmed.

“It is nothing, merely a fever and a sore throat. She retired to a guest room, and I don’t believe the two of you can leave tonight.”

“Have you fetched a doctor?” Ronan asks.

“I have,” Gansey replies. “She might have to remain here for a few days.”

“And I’ll have to stay with her,” Adam sighs, he wonders where the doctor is so he can check himself. “I will enjoy myself more than her, probably.”

For the first time since they entered the dining room, Gansey looks at Adam. “You look flushed Adam, are you ill too?”

Adam shakes his head. “Mr. Lynch and I were riding.”

“Oh,” Gansey says, looking between them. “Did you enjoy yourselves?”

Adam nods, and to his surprise, Ronan speaks up. “Why didn’t you tell me Parrish was so good on a horse?”

“I didn’t know,” Gansey supplies. “You are good?” The question is directed at Adam.

“I am not bad,” Adam answers.

“He is fantastic,” Ronan chimes in. “And too modest for his own good. He beat me at every challenge I threw at him.” To Adam he says, “We have to go again tomorrow, if you’re up for it.”

“I am.” He turns towards Gansey. “Tell me of your conversation with Blue.”

And so, Gansey recounts the somewhat pleasant time he spent with Blue as they eat dinner. He had apparently not brought up the ball or his past blunders. The conversation had been going fine, according to Gansey, until Blue began to feel weak.

“So she went back to her room and I sent for a physician and here we all are,” Gansey concludes.

\--

After dinner, Ronan and Gansey begin playing cards while Adam goes to visit Blue. She is miserable, but comfortable and admits as much to him.

“Mr. Gansey was a very accommodating host today,” Blue tells him hoarsely. “I’m willing to give anyone who can look at my snotty face and not blanch the benefit of the doubt.”

Adam strokes her hair affectionately, but says nothing.

“I think we’ll have to stay here for a while, I’m sorry,” Blue continues.

Adam shakes his head. “Don’t be, I don’t mind staying here.”

“What did you and Mr. Lynch do?” Blue aks.

“This and that,” Adam answers. “Nothing exciting, we mostly just talked.” Which is not necessarily true, but Adam doesn’t feel up to explaining the good time he had with Ronan Lynch to her, at least, not in the state that she is in. “We rode around the park, you know, to entertain ourselves.”

“Ah,” Blue says, and sighs. “How long will we have to stay here?”

“Probably until you’re better,” Adam responds. “So concentrate on getting better.”

\--

During breakfast the next day, Gansey informs Adam that the doctor had returned and advised against Blue leaving Raven’s Nest before her cold had passed. Although he’d expected it, Adam is still peeved. He sits silently at the table and glares at Gansey for so long that Ronan begins laughing.

“I think Parrish thinks you set this whole thing up so they’d have to stay here longer,” Ronan supplies at Gansey’s annoyed look.

“I think you conspired with my family to do it,” Adam adds. “They wouldn’t give us the carriage for a reason.”

Before Gansey has a chance to respond, a servant hands him a note. Adam watches him reading with a slight furrow in his brow. After he is done, Gansey puts down the note and sighs.

“My sister is coming for a visit,” he states.

Adam smiles hesitantly. “That’s great?”

“Oh it is,” Gansey says. “It’s great, however, my sister is not coming alone. She’s bringing her friends Mr. and Mrs. Englewood and Mrs. Englewood’s sister, Miss Garrett.”

Across the table, Ronan sighs dramatically. “Has your sister completely lost her mind?”

Gansey, to his benefit, tries to look stern. “Ronan, for the love of all you hold holy, stop insulting my acquaintances.”

Ronan huffs indignantly, but remains silent.

“It does not matter that you are correct in your assertions,” Gansey continues, voice oddly formal. “We still try our best to be polite.”

“You don’t like your sister’s friends?” The thought hits Adam suddenly, and Adam wonders why it took him so long to figure it out.

“No one likes Gansey’s sister’s friends,” Ronan supplies. “I’m not even sure Helen likes them.”

“They’re still going to be our guests.” Gansey looks determined. “My sister says they should be here sometime late tonight, or early tomorrow morning.”

“So soon,” Ronan says dramatically, and then, he begins to smile. “How is Miss Sargent doing?” The question is directed at Adam.

“Better,” Adam responds. “She should be out of bed soon.”

“Soon enough to meet our guests?”

And then Adam gets it. “Oh no, don’t do that.”

“Whyever not? I think Miss Sargent would be delighted to meet Gansey’s sister and her friends,” Ronan says with a smile.

Adam sighs at his antics. “This is because you don’t know Miss Sargent at all.”

“Well…”

“No, wait, I’ve thought better,” Adam interrupts. “You do know Miss Sargent well, and you are hoping for anarchy, as you often do, and you believe that Blue will help achieve that goal.”

Ronan’s smile turns a bit fond. “Got it in one try, Mr. Parrish,” he says.

“Try not to offend anyone,” Gansey says to Ronan hopelessly. Adam feels pity for Gansey.

\--

Breakfast and lunch pass without incident. Ronan Lynch disappears all day and Adam spends his time alternating between Gansey and Blue. The former is engaged wholly in trying to persuade Adam to travel with him, the latter is in bed and angry at the world in general.

When dinner rolls around and Ronan is still missing, Gansey sends servants in search of him. They begin dinner without Ronan, and Gansey tells Adam about his sister’s friends, their habits and their areas of interest.

Adam listens to Gansey’s nervous tone, reassures him that he (Adam) will be civil, at least, and that he will try to talk to Blue and make her understand the need to be civil to the guests. Adam thinks he’s managed to calm some of Gansey’s nerves, but then Ronan shows up looking wild, his clothes in disarray, and Gansey looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm.

Ronan shrugs at Gansey’s inquiries and doesn’t say where he’s been, but Adam can smell the wind and rain on him and can see some mud on his boots. Adam thinks Ronan went riding alone, why he did such a thing, though, Adam can’t tell. Adam remembers Ronan saying that they’d go riding together.

Whatever, he isn’t bothered.

They eat dinner in tense silence. Gansey is mad that Ronan disappeared all day without a word. Ronan is mad that Gansey is mad. And Adam is… well he’s not happy and he’s not angry, but there is an itching feeling in his gut, one that won’t leave him alone, one that wonders why Ronan left without him. Why, when Ronan had explicitly said they’d go together.

Adam had assured himself that he is not bothered by this action, but as dinner ends, he knows that he is. Perhaps he’d done something to offend Ronan Lynch? Perhaps that friendship is destroyed before it even had a chance to flourish.

 _You are being dramatic,_ he tells himself.

After dinner, Gansey retires to his library to wait for his sister and Adam goes to his own room. He gets ready for bed but sleep does not come, and he finds himself wandering the halls of Raven’s Nest, finally stopping in an empty terrace.

The wind hits his face and he closes his eyes, he can feel the rain in the air, the promise of it, the whisper of its coming. He yearns for the rain, to be soaked up by a storm, to feel engulfed by the water. It is freeing, it is purifying, and Adam, who has an extremely uncomfortable encounter to look forward to tomorrow, is wishing for it.

He hears a rustle behind him and turns suddenly, and there is Ronan Lynch, leaning against the open door. His fierce and icy gaze shifts away from Adam a moment before Adam’s settles on him, and his stance becomes tense.

Adam turns back towards the outside world and sighs. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Ronan seems to take this as an invitation because he comes forward to stand next to Adam. “I can never sleep.”

“Another piece of information shared, although surprisingly, I already knew it,” Adam says. He sounds wistful, feels as if he’s in a dream. The grounds of Raven’s Nest are shrouded in darkness. Adam thinks that this is the perfect time for the fae to be out. “I have nothing to give back.”

“What’s bothering you?” Ronan asks. “You’re more rigid than normal.”

Adam wants to say that he’s worried about Miss Garrett and the Englewoods, but instead he asks. “Did I somehow offend you?”

Ronan quirks an eyebrow at him. Even his eyebrows are sharp, everything about him is sharp, and Adam feels overwhelmed.

“No?”

“You went riding without me today,” Adam says as a way of explanation. “You said we’d go together.”

Ronan huffs, it might have been a laugh or it might not have been one. “I figured you’d want to spend the day with Miss Sargent.”

The action speaks of more thoughtfulness than Adam previously believed this man to be capable of. He shrugs, “Is it that simple?”

“It was not about you,” Ronan continues, though Adam feels like he’s not being completely honest. “Not entirely. I wanted to be alone.”

To be alone, Adam thinks, so simple. Adam likes being alone, though more often than not he feels lonesome. He does not share this bit of information with Ronan Lynch though, no matter how dreamlike the quality of their interaction at the moment, there are parts of himself he wishes to keep close.

“You were alone for an entire day,” Adam says. “Was it enough?”

“It was too much,” Ronan smiles, and his smile is sharp just as his eyebrows were. “I’m not a pleasant person to be around.”

“So I’ve heard,” Adam responds.

“If you are so bothered by my going out alone,” Ronan says after a few moments of silence. “I will make sure to invite you the next time I’ve decided to waste away my hours, shall I?”

Adam hums in agreement.

“You do seem to want to be alone with me quite desperately.” And that is definitely Ronan teasing. This is not familiar ground for Adam, and yet, he has felt Ronan Lynch tease him more than once for the past two days. He doesn’t know how to respond. Instead he turns towards the house and says, “Don’t forget me next time. I’m going to attempt sleep again.”

He can feel Ronan’s burning gaze on him as he leaves.

\--

Blue has a coughing fit and doesn’t leave her bed the next morning, but a sullen footman informs Adam that their guests have arrived.

When Adam sits down with the new guests, he realizes what a great coincidence this all is. He thanks all his stars that Blue is confined to her room for the duration of breakfast. The coughing fit really saved her from having to spend time in the presence of quite possibly the worst people ever. They are not only dull, but overly pretentious. Miss Garrett continues talking with Gansey, although Gansey is unresponsive most of the time, and looks quite bored. From the other side of the table, Mrs. Englewood keeps glancing at Adam’s cuffs from his right hand side, as if she is contemplating whether or not to object to them.

They make it through breakfast, and are following their guests in a tour of Raven’s Nest when Ronan grabs Adam’s arm and gestures away from the group.

“Fishing,” he mouths.

Adam looks at him quizzically and Ronan rolls his eyes.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to come along next time I did something?”

Without another word, Adam follows Ronan out the door.

He feels infinitely relieved to be out of that room, even as his mind wonders whether just leaving might be seen as rude. Ronan, who seems completely unaffected by his conscience, asks someone to find them fishing gear and they’re walking towards the pond before Adam has time to spare thoughts on the guests and proper behavior towards them.

“God,” Ronan says once they’ve set up their fishing poles. “I have nothing against Helen, but she has some very weird friends.”

Adam hums in agreement. “I’m glad Blue is in her room again.”

“Does your sister get along with anyone?” Ronan asks with a sneer.

“Yes,” Adam snaps. “Me, for example.”

“And?”

Adam huffs, but he can’t help the smile that threatens to overtake his face. “Mostly just me.”

“It’s no fun when you prove me right, Parrish,” Ronan grumbles and begins playing with his fishing pole.

“You know,” Adam says, “You’re not gonna catch any fish that way.”

“I know,” Ronan sighs. “This is boring.”

“You,” Adam begins, “wanted to come fishing.”

“I wanted to escape Helen’s friend, that awful sister and her husband,” Ronan counters. “I hate fishing.”

Adam regards him silently, thinking of the situation and trying to understand Ronan’s motivations. Unwittingly, his mind goes to last night and his heart beats unpleasantly in his chest. “You left them to come do something else you hate?”

“I don’t see why you’re complaining,” Ronan sounds like he’s whining. Adam thinks, weirdly, that such a trait is endearing in a man like him. “I rescued you, didn’t I?”

Adam looks away from him, ready to argue that he had needed no rescuing, but he doesn’t do it. He’s kind of glad to be out here, away from Gansey’s relations, with a person who is fast becoming a comfortable presence in his life; a person who he feels an unprecedented desire to impress. “Thanks, but now we’re here, doing something that neither of us wants to do.”

Ronan furrows his brows at Adam. “You don’t like to fish?”

“No, I really don’t.”

“We don’t have to fish,” Ronan mumbles.

“What would you rather do then?” Adam asks.

Ronan looks as if he’s pondering the question. His gaze is fixed at the fishing pole, his expression thoughtful. After a moment, he turns towards Adam. “Do you know how to swim, Parrish?”

Adam blinks in surprise. The offer seems genuine to him, yet it seems like swimming is so far away from the confines of polite society that such an offer can be nothing but a joke. “Are you pulling my leg?”

“You know, I know we established that we don’t know each other very well,” Ronan says, sounding miffed. “But I expect you to have more faith than that in me.”

Mollified, Adam nods. “Ok, but we can’t actually swim.”

“Why is that?”

“It’s improper.” Adam frowns. “People might talk.”

Getting to his feet, Ronan begins unbuttoning his vest. “So? Let people talk.”

“But…” Adam begins, and promptly shuts his mouth as Ronan Lynch shucks his vest and begins unlacing his boots. “You will do this regardless of what I say.”

Ronan nods. “Come on, man. Live a little.”

“If I drown,” Adam begins, working the buttons on his own vest. “I will return as a ghost and haunt you.”

Ronan chuckles, grabs Adam’s arm and plunges them both into the water. Adam struggles to gain his surroundings as he surfaces in the pond. His hair is wet, his clothes are wet, and his hand is definitely and firmly held by Ronan Lynch.

“My feet can touch the bottom.” Adam stretches his toes and they touch the soft mud at the bottom of the pond. His mind argues, that if Ronan is holding his hand to stop him from drowning, he can stop that now. Ronan seems to realize this as soon as Adam does, because he lets go of the hand he’s holding.

“Fun?” He asks, his smile dripping danger.

Adam shrugs. He’s not very comfortable, but he feels… he’s not sure how exactly to put his feelings to word. It is, however a pleasant feeling.

“If that’s a no, then…” Ronan’s smile grows as he scoops up some water and throws it at Adam’s face.

Adam splutters, curses despite himself, and dedicates the next fifteen minutes to trying to drown Ronan Lynch. He fails, although his heart is beating rapidly and there is a large smile on his face. Adam would have continued his quest, but they are interrupted by one of Gansey’s footmen, who informs the two that his master is expecting them for lunch.

Adam climbs out of the pond reluctantly, and waits as Ronan climbs out as well. He tries not to stare, after all, it would be impolite, but even as he’s looking away, he’s reminded of Ronan’s earlier assertion that he has a tattoo. Unwillingly, his gaze drifts towards Ronan, who has turned his back to Adam and is lacing his boots. His white shirt is sticking to his back in several different areas, and through the wet cloth, Adam can see the black outline of a tattoo. He forces his gaze away, aware that he should not stare so openly.

Perhaps he’d been staring too long because now his throat feels dry.

Done lacing his boots, Ronan turns and scoops up his vest, inspecting Adam’s clothing as he does so. “Well, you might be able to salvage those boots,” he says. “If you leave them out to dry for a while.”

Adam looks down at his feet, surprised; he’d been so busy forcing himself not to stare at Ronan that his own wet clothes had slipped his mind. Ronan’s gaze travels the length of Adam’s body once, and then he looks away, pretending as Adam had been, that there had been no unnecessary staring.

Adam feels a sliver of hope travel up his spine, and he quenches it. There is nothing here, nothing to nurture or grow. It must be his own wishful thinking.

“You can borrow my clothes, or Gansey’s clothes,” Ronan says as they head back to the house. “Or, you can defy all expectation and just show up to the lunch in those clothes.”

“Is that what you’re planning on doing?” Adam asks. He is decidedly not flirting, he can’t be, he doesn’t know how.

Ronan hums, “Nah, I’ll just disrobe before entering the dining hall completely nude.”

 _Jesus Christ_ , Adam wants to say but doesn’t. He decidedly does not think of Ronan without any clothes on. “That would give almost all of the people in the room a heart attack.”

“That’s the plan,” Ronan says, a savage smile gracing his lips. “The more people dead, the better.”

They part ways when they reach the house, Adam going to the guest room assigned to him and Ronan trudging towards his own room. Adam redresses and stands in the middle of the room. Part of him wants to go down to lunch with Gansey, but there is another part, a more stubborn part, that does not want to be in the presence of Helen and her friends again.

Adam goes to Blue’s room and asks for his lunch to be taken there.

He tells Blue about everything but his sojourn with Ronan. He doesn’t want her to get ideas.

Blue is appropriately angry about Gansey’s new guests, and assures Adam that she’s gotten better and will be able to travel ‘any day now.’

As they eat their food, Adam begs her to do so. He doesn’t think he can be in a house with Mr. and Mrs. Englewood, Miss Garrett and Ronan Lynch any longer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> I forgot to mention in the last chapter that this fic will have a happy ending. I can't bear not to write a happy ending. Next chapter will be up tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A ball, an annoying cousin, a proposal, and even more rain.

**III.**

Blue’s illness persists just long enough for her to be insulted several times by Helen’s awful friends. To Adam’s surprise and gratitude, however, Blue does not display the same rude behavior towards them. She bears all insults with a cool air of nonchalance, and responds to the jibes to her upbringing with chilling and intimidating smiles and answers which, although polite, make both Miss Garrett and Mrs. Englewood simmer.

Gansey is terribly embarrassed, although his sister Helen does not interject on Blue’s behalf.

Adam is glad for that last part, Blue needs no one to fight her battles.

In the meantime, Ronan Lynch has become quite fond of Blue, and regards every conversation she has with Helen’s guests as the greatest form of entertainment to be found outside of riding.

Adam knows this because Ronan told him about it on one of their walks.

That is a thing they do together now, they take walks… and ride… and chat. Adam is secretly very glad that they walk and ride and chat, and although he will not admit it to anyone, he is sad when Blue finally does recover and they return to Foxleigh.

The sadness however, is quickly replaced by a sense of dread. Their return to Foxleigh coincides with Mr. Grey’s return. This would normally be a cause for celebration, however Mr. Grey does not come alone. Accompanying him is his nephew, his estranged brother’s son, who is set to inherit Mr. Grey’s entire estate once the gentleman dies. No one at Foxleigh has ever met this elusive cousin, but everyone at Foxleigh hates him.

“Change for dinner quickly,” Maura says, hurrying Adam and Blue in through the back door and shooing them upstairs. “Mr. Grey and Mr. Pender are chatting in Mr. Grey’s study, but the latter keeps hinting at wanting dinner.”

Maura’s voice is very polite, even as she follows them upstairs to make sure they don’t loiter, but Adam has known her long enough to recognize the signs of frustration. Maura Sargent is not the kind of person to begrudge someone their inheritance, even if they are the son of her husband’s very horrible brother. If she is frustrated by Mr. Pender, that means that he is a frustrating person.

Blue seems to have the same thoughts as Adam because she asks her mother how she likes Mr. Pender as she is being pushed into her room.

Maura sighs. “You can decide for yourself.”

“That means he’s horrible,” Blue stage-whispers to Adam.

“Don’t presume,” Adam murmurs and enters his own room to get ready for dinner.

As it turns out, not only is Mr. Pender quite horrible, but he is also a bore. A clergyman by profession, Mr. Pender seems to enjoy talking extensively about his sermons, his benefactor, and the various titles and honors which have been bestowed on the latter. Maura and Mr. Grey listen attentively and politely to Mr. Pender’s conversation, however, Calla and Persephone don’t even pretend to listen. They whisper to themselves even as the man speaks, and pay no heed to him. Blue is no better than them. At one point, Adam thinks she actually falls asleep.

Adam pretends to listen, although he retains very little of what Mr. Pender is saying. His mind is back at Raven’s Nest, where his friends reside. Gansey and Ronan must be very put out that they have to spend yet another dinner with Helen and her friends. Ronan must be annoyed that Blue is gone and with her, his biggest source of entertainment.

Adam wonders briefly--he allows himself just a small amount--whether Ronan was sad to see him go.

He is taken out of the confines of his own mind when Mr. Pender asks him a specific question and Adam has to pretend, once again, to listen to the endless rambling.

But, no matter how painfully dinner is, it passes, and the next morning at breakfast, they learn that Mr. Pender has taken an early morning walk.

“Thank heavens,” Blue says as she sits down next to Adam. “If I have to spend two meals in a row with that man I will strangle him.”

Adam snorts but remains quiet. A moment later, the maid hands him two letters, both of which are clearly from Gansey. The first is an invitation to a private ball, which Gansey says he is holding at Raven’s nest. Adam does not open the second until he is done with breakfast and has left the dining room.

In the second letter, Gansey explains that he was very embarrassed by his sister’s behavior towards Blue--and occasionally Adam. It reads:

_Although I expected Miss Garrett to be rude, and Miss Englewood to be intolerable, it was my sister’s approval of such behavior that truly shamed me. I have talked with Helen, and we have come to an understanding. However, I wish to make it up to you and Miss Sargent, and this ball is my way of saying that I am sorry._

The letter goes on to explain some of the details of the ball, and in the end, Gansey asks whether it could be possible for Adam to come help with the planning. Adam writes back immediately, saying that he would love to help Gansey plan the ball. He does not mention Mr. Pender in his letter, thinking that such a man is best left to experience face to face.

The next afternoon, Adam sets off towards Raven’s Nest once again, buzzing with excitement.

\---

Adam is greeted at the door by a very happy Gansey, who gives him yet another piece of good news.

“Helen and her friends are gone,” Gansey says, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet. “They left yesterday, can you believe it?”

“Didn’t you know how long they were planning to stay?”

Gansey shakes his head. “I was dreading asking them, in case they planned to stay for months.”

Adam snorts--it is not a very polite action.

“But they are gone!” Gansey repeats. “And you are here, and we can plan, and I don’t have to worry about anyone being rude to my guests during the ball.”

And they plan. They make a good pair, the two of them. Where Gansey is eager, Adam is pragmatic, and while the two don’t necessarily agree on everything, they manage to come to a compromise on every subject. Ronan lingers in the room with them as they plan, occasionally offering up horrifying advice and being unnecessarily unhelpful.

It takes them a week to plan, and Gansey bemoans the fact that his sister is gone and can’t help them at least three times.

“It is a woman’s job to plan balls,” Gansey complains on the last day, when they realize that they forgot to order flowers.

“Don’t let Blue hear you say that,” Adam quips. “She will go back to hating you. Besides, as Maura always likes to say, if a man can do it, a woman can do it.”

“This does not apply to your situation,” Ronan chimes in, unhelpfully.

“Well, I think it works in reverse as well,” Adam says and rolls his eyes for emphasis.

Ronan shrugs, lacking a better response, and continues doing absolutely nothing while Adam and Gansey plan. They work together all afternoon and the next week after that. When the day of the ball finally arrives, they’ve managed everything from flowers and decoration, to the list of people invited and the different meals planned for the evening. That morning, they sit together, smiling like a couple of idiots, while Ronan snorts at them.

“You two might as well became debutants, with the way you’ve planned this atrocity,” he says and throws bread crumbs right at Adam’s nose. “Did you have fun playing with the flowers?”

“Ronan please,” Gansey sighs, though his smile resumes after the sigh. “Keep the derogatory comments to a minimum.”

“I had fun,” Adam chimes in. Ronan’s gaze shifts from Gansey to him and he opens his mouth, most likely to make an unflattering remark about Adam’s enjoyment of the planning, but Gansey beats him by a millisecond and speaks instead.

“I had fun too,” he says, “Now, Adam, was the experience enjoyable because you were working with me?”

Adam shifts his gaze from Ronan’s scowl to Gansey’s smile. “Of course.”

“So you admit that working together has its benefits?” Gansey continues.

“Gansey, I have always liked working with you,” Adam says, nodding slowly. It begins to dawn on him that Gansey is going somewhere with this conversation, laying a trap, and that Adam has fallen prey to it.

“And yet, you refuse to come and work with me,” Gansey says, finishing what he had started. “Or live with me.”

Adam drops his head, rubbing his brows in frustration. He can feel Ronan’s interest piquing and knows that this conversation, however it might end, promises enough drama even for Ronan’s chaos seeking mind.

“It’s not working with you Gansey, it’s working for you,” he begins, after a moment of thought. “I would be your employee, our relationship would forever be at an imbalance.”

“But it would not,” Gansey counters, his voice laced with emotion. “You would be working closely with me. I would not be above you in any way. The only reason I would pay you is because your time is valuable and I wish to provide some kind of recompense for the time you spend helping me manage my affairs.”

“Gansey, you know this is false,” Adam says. “You would be paying me because I need the money, because my income is meager, because my father refuses to care for anyone but himself. You are not paying Mr. Lynch, and he is living and travelling with you.”

Gansey spares a glance towards Ronan, who is listening intently. Ronan, in his turn, begins to speak. “He isn’t paying me because I don’t do anything to help with his affairs. If I had been helping him, I’m sure he’d be offering me money as well.”

Adam looks at Ronan, surprised and affronted. He had not expected Ronan to speak up or defend Gansey in such an eloquent way. “Would you accept his money, then, if you were working for him?”

“Of course I would,” Ronan says.

“Adam, please,” Gansey says, seeing Adam slightly mollified. “I don’t mean to offend you, I just wish you would see how badly I want you to travel with me. Working with you this past week has been great. We make a great team, can’t you see that?”

Adam sighs. “I can,” he says. Even when defending his position, he cannot deny the truth. He enjoys working with Gansey, who is his best friend, and they make a good, functional duo.

“Travel with me for a few months then, if nothing else, I can help you make contacts,” Gansey pushes, and Adam relents.

“Fine, yes, I will work for you.”

“With me,” Gansey corrects. He looks entirely too joyful for such an early hour. “Adam, I am ridiculously excited.”

Adam smiles at him, heart beating in a slightly unpleasant way. For months he’s been denying Gansey the answer the man wished for. For months he’s told himself that he would not relent, and yet, here he is, planning to travel with his friend, and he is not entirely upset by the idea. More so, he is troubled by the fact that he is not upset, and he feels that he should be.

Gansey stands, makes an announcement about discussing the ball with the staff, and leaves Adam alone in the room with Ronan.

Ronan had resumed playing with his food, but he raises his head once Gansey leaves the room.

“You realize you just committed to spending months with no one but Gansey and me as company right?”

Adam thinks that out of all his concerns, spending time with Gansey and even Ronan is not an issue. To Ronan he says, “Who knows? All this time alone together, maybe I’ll see your tattoo at some point.”

\---

The ball is successful.

Adam greets his family upon their arrival, at which point he notices that Mr. Pender is still with them. The man takes great care to ask after Gansey, who apparently, is the nephew of Mr. Pender’s benefactor. Adam tries very hard to keep Mr. Pender away from Gansey, but he is sure that at one point in the evening, the gentlemen will cross paths. Adam dreads that moment the entire evening.

However, Mr. Pender is not a source of anxiety for Adam alone. Halfway through the evening, Blue finds Adam and begs him to dance with her. According to Blue, Mr. Pender has been monopolizing her time all evening and refuses to leave her, even for one dance. Adam dances with her, then finds Gansey and asks if he wishes to dance with Blue.

“Why, of course,” Gansey says and the two of them are off.

Adam has one moment of breathing room before he is confronted by a breathless Ronan Lynch, who asks him to dance, his manner stiff.

Adam says yes.

He is not sure why he does, but he is sure that he did not want to say no.

And so they dance.

Adam does not enjoy the dance. As it begins and they bow to each other, Adam feels as if the temperature in the room has risen. Every time their hands touch, Adam’s burn. He tries, even as they circle each other, to think rationally, but the beating of his heart is too loud and he has a hard time thinking of anything but the next time his hand will touch Ronan’s.

Adam is relieved when the dance is over. He bows to Ronan, who bows back, and they go their separate ways. Adam leaves the hall, trying to make sense of his own strange behavior. He doesn’t understand the way he responded to dancing with Ronan. He’s been alone with Ronan before. He’s even been alone with Ronan in much more embarrassing situations before.

Perhaps it was the act of dancing that set him off, but he had been fine dancing with Blue.

It must be something about Ronan. Adam knows he finds the man attractive. Anyone with eyes should find Ronan Lynch attractive. Yet, he’s been aware of Ronan’s attractiveness in the past and still not felt this flustered around him.

Well, he’d never danced with the man before.

Again, he returns to dancing. Dancing with someone attractive must have made his mind malfunction.

But--Adam sighs as the argument begins forming in his mind--he’s danced with multiple attractive people before and his response has been less severe.

It is about Ronan Lynch, and dancing, and how attractive he is.

Adam runs a hand through his hair and bangs his head softly against a wall. He has not come to a conclusion, he’ll have to think more on the subject.

He returns to the ball.

The rest of the evening is uneventful. Ronan has disappeared, Mr. Pender finds Gansey eventually, and although he is ridiculous, Gansey is polite, and there is no disaster. At the end of the ball, Adam returns to Foxleigh with his family.

\---

The next morning, chaos ensues.

They are all at breakfast, reminiscing about the ball and Raven’s Nest when Mr. Pender enters the room.

“Mrs. Grey,” he says, addressing Maura, “I was wondering if I could have a moment alone with your daughter?”

Blue looks alarmed, Maura looks curious, and Mr. Grey begins herding people out of the room. Adam stands with the rest of the family and mouths “I’m sorry” at Blue before leaving.

Five minutes later, Blue bursts out of the dining room, enraged. She finds Maura, mumbles something to her, and leaves the house.

Mr. Pender appears a moment later, saying he’s never been so insulted in his life and advising Maura on how to raise her daughter. Adam, knowing that Maura too might explode at any moment, excuses himself from the room and follows Blue out of the house.

It’s no surprise that he finds her, storming about in the gardens and mumbling angrily to himself. He joins her and storms about with her, content to remain silent until she wishes to speak.

Finally, Blue takes a seat on a nearby bench and motions for Adam to join her.

“He asked me to marry him,” she huffs. “The man had the gall to propose to me and he has known me for a week.”

Adam shrugs at her. “Were you surprised?”

“Not really,” she answers. “I was however surprised when he refused to accept my rejection.”

Adam thinks he understands the rage more clearly now.

“He said he understood that my delicate female sensibilities kept me from appearing too eager and that is why I refused him.”

“He clearly does not know you,” Adam says.

“Clearly,” Blue bites out. “Which is what I told him, then I told him that I could not and would not marry him, at which point, he proceeded to insult both my looks and my prospects.”

“Do you want me to punch him for you?” Adam asks. “Since your delicate female sensibilities stop you from doing that yourself.”

Blue glares at him. “Don’t you start,” she says, but there is a small smile on her lips. “I told him again that I could not marry him, I hope this time he takes me at my word.”

“The man is dense,” Adam says, trying to make her smile more. “We can only hope.”

They sit in the garden for a time, and when they return to the house, Mr. Pender has gone. No one chides Blue for refusing him, although when Calla arrives later, she does say that marrying the man might not have been the worst idea.

“He will have this house,” Calla says. “You could do worse than marrying such a man.”

“Yes,” Blue responds. “For example, I could marry someone who works in the circus.”

“Such a man would have more dignity,” Maura says and Blue laughs and the conversation is over.

That is until, a few days later, when Orla arrives and announces that she is engaged to Mr. Pender.

Blue gapes at her, Adam, who is in the middle of composing a letter to Gansey, drops his quill on the letter and has to find a new piece of paper.

“I am not a romantic,” Blue’s cousin tells them. “He will provide a comfortable life for me, I could do much worse than him.”

Calla nods knowingly at them all. They ignore her.

\---

Orla and Mr. Pender marry in a small ceremony a month later. Adam is not present because Gansey’s aunt summons him to herself and Adam, who has promised to travel with Gansey, has to go along.

Stonewill Park is grand and Gansey’s aunt excessive. Lady Caroline is old, stiff, and important enough to be completely intolerable. Once Gansey introduces Adam and Ronan to her, she asks him why he continues to lower himself by spending time with savages while looking straight at Ronan. Unaffected, Ronan begins wandering around the room, while both Gansey and Adam seethe. Later, Gansey tells Adam that he has had a very serious conversation with his aunt about the way she treats his friends. Apparently, Gansey hopes that his aunt’s behavior will change. Adam doubts it.

There is one source of happiness in their stay at Stonewill Park. Gansey’s cousin, Colonel Noah Czerny, has also been summoned by Lady Caroline and his presence is a delight. He gets along splendidly with Ronan, which is a surprise, and even Adam finds himself seeking Colonel Czenry out for walks around the park or a game of cards.

At first, Adam spends most days working with Gansey. Two weeks into their stay, however, Lady Caroline begins demanding more and more of her nephews’ time, and one Tuesday morning, Adam finds himself alone for the entire day, Gansey’s presence having been requested by his aunt.

Adam is at breakfast, reading a book and thinking about what he can do with himself while Gansey is busy when Ronan walks in, still half asleep. He grunts at Adam’s “Good morning” and drinks three cups of tea before he speaks.

“Where’s Dick?” he asks then rings the footman for more jam.

Adam sets his book down carefully, and answers, “Lady Caroline has taken him away to the village.”

“Of course she has,” Ronan says pessimistically. “And Czerny too?”

Adam nods.

“So it’s the two of us, what do you want to do, Parrish?”

Surprised that Ronan is taking his desires into consideration, Adam asks, “Me?”

“Yes, you,” Ronan snorts, the footman has returned with the jam, but Ronan waves it away. “Is there another Parrish in this room?”

Shaking his head, Adam says, “Not that I know of, but I wouldn’t rule it out,” he feels triumphant when Ronan smirks, and so, he continues, “Why don’t we go fishing.”

Ronan startles him by laughing. His laughter, rare, makes a river of warmth run through Adam’s veins. Embarrassed by his reaction, Adam diverts his gaze from Ronan’s laughing face to the breakfast table.

“Oh,” Ronan says. “Maybe Gansey was given the wrong nickname.”

Adam looks up, teased out of his embarrassment. “I think that is very rude, Mr. Lynch.”

“Of course you do,” Ronan says, face still open. “But really, what would you like to do?”

Adam looks out the windows. The sky is clear. The sun shines brightly and happily, and Adam is seized with the desire to be outside, alone with Ronan. “We can take a walk?”

“A walk?”

“A picnic,” Adam continues. “We can ask the cook to make us sandwiches and we can have lunch in the park.”

Ronan remains quiet for a moment, his mouth forming a perfect _o_ of surprise. Finally, he shakes himself out of it, but when he speaks, his voice is strained. “Yes, of course,” he says, then coughs. “A picnic sounds wonderful.”

\--

An hour later they’re walking. Ronan has picked up the basket from a footman and is currently carrying it. When Adam asks to share the load, Ronan vehemently refuses.

“Absolutely not,” he says, batting away Adam’s hand. “I can handle it.”

Adam drops it, he’s more worried about Ronan’s strange behavior during the breakfast table. Never one to shy away from uncomfortable situations, Adam asks Ronan about it directly.

“Did I say something to upset you during breakfast?”

Ronan looks at him, an eyebrow raised, mouth set in a straight line. “No.”

His denial is perfect in it’s honesty, and yet, Adam pushes. “After I suggested the picnic, your voice became strained, I just want to know if I forced you to do something you didn’t want to do.”

The rigid line of Ronan’s mouth softens into a small smile, and Ronan shakes his head. “Of course I want to spend the day with you, Parrish. What are you, an idiot?”

Adam pushes him, causing him to lose his balance momentarily.

“I’m not an idiot, you just acted strangely.”

“Parrish,” Ronan says after regaining his balance. “I asked you to spend the day with me.”

“I know,” Adam says quietly. He actually is starting to feel like an idiot.

“So my voice sounded odd, I mean,” Ronan pauses, hand reaching up to scratch his shaved head. “Yes, the picnic took me by surprise, but I definitely want to be here.”

“Ok,” Adam says, the same warmth from earlier coursing through his body.

They walk and talk and are so absorbed in each other’s company that they don’t notice the rain clouds overhead. A thunderclap drags them back to their surroundings, but when they look back towards the house, it is out of sight.

Before either of them can get a word in, the downpour begins.

They’re soaked in seconds, standing in the pathway, looking first at the sky, then at each other. Then, to Adam’s surprise, Ronan begins to laugh.

His laugh is infectious. They are getting rained on, yet Adam begins laughing too.

“Come on,” Ronan says after a minute, grabbing Adam’s wrist and walking off the path. “I know somewhere we can stay until the rain lets up.”

He begins running, and Adam runs to keep pace with him. As they run through the park, rain beating down on their head and shoulders, rocks and roots doing their best to trip them, Ronan’s hand slips from Adam’s wrist into his hand. Ronan doesn’t pause. He grips Adam’s hand and Adam grips back, heart beating in his throat. He wants this, wants Ronan holding his hand, wants his skin touching Ronan’s.

He’s been wanting it for a while.

They run and run, and Adam thinks ridiculously of the dance at Raven’s Nest. He thinks of swimming with Ronan, of riding his horse and beating Ronan at every challenge. He thinks, unbiddingly, of Ronan going riding alone, even though he’d promised Adam that they’d go riding together, and he remembers how hurt he’d been. Adam remembers--even feels--the relief that had overtaken him when Ronan assured him that they were still friends. He thinks of his overwhelming happiness every time Ronan wants to spend time with him, every time Ronan laughs, and suddenly everything clicks.

They stop at a Roman looking structure that shields them from the rain. Ronan drops the basket on the ground and turns to Adam.

“We’ll be out of the rain here,” he says, breathless. “It’s called the temple of Apollo. Gansey used to be obsessed with it, even though it’s a pretty modern building. Nice place, yes?”

Adam kisses him.

He doesn’t mean to, or… well, he doesn’t think about it before he does the act. However, as his fingers lace themselves around Ronan’s neck and Ronan’s hands settle on his waist, Adam thinks that he must have meant to do this. He must have wanted to kiss Ronan, to feel Ronan’s lips against his. He must have wanted it for weeks, without knowing, because as he kisses Ronan, a longing settles. He feels peaceful.

They pull away. The kiss, though monumental to Adam, was nothing but a small touch of lips.

Ronan is looking at Adam, and Adam forces himself to look back. Ronan looks… surprised, but surprise is not necessarily a bad thing. When Adam kissed him, he had felt a small pressure. Ronan had kissed him back.

“Mr. Lynch,” Adam begins, but stops at Ronan’s raised palm.

“Ronan,” he says.

“What?” Adam asks, confused.

Ronan bites his lip. “You just kissed me, Mr. Parrish,” he says, “I think it’s fair to say that you can call me by my given name.”  
“Adam.”

“That is your name,” Ronan says, with a smile, catching on to what Adam means.

“You can call me by my given name if you insist I call you by yours,” Adam says.

“Of course,” Ronan says. He moves closer, and despite his calm demeanor, Adam can sense that he is nervous.

“You kissed me,” Ronan says, as if he can’t believe it.

Adam nods.

“You wanted to kiss me?”

Again, Adam nods.

“May we kiss again?” Ronan asks, and the shyness, the sweetness with which the words leave his mouth is so out of character for him, that Adam stares.

Perhaps he stares too long because Ronan starts retreating. Adam reaches out, grabbing his wrists to make him stop.

“We may,” he says, though he cannot look Ronan directly in the eye. “I would like that.”

They kiss until the rain stops.

\---

They don’t really talk about it.

That Ronan cares for him, Adam is certain, and he hopes that Ronan understands that Adam bears affection for him in return. However, neither of them are much for talking about their feelings, and so they don’t.

Instead, they spend time together.

Lady Caroline continues monopolizing both Gansey and Noah’s time. Gansey apologizes profusely, Noah shrugs at the two of them knowingly. While the cousins are away keeping their aunt mollified, however, Adam and Ronan are left to their own devices.

They ride, mostly. Both of them like it, and Ronan, who is apparently more competitive than he led on before, invents challenge after challenge for Adam.

When Gansey is around, Adam works with him. All in all, Adam is happy. Despite the ever present shadow of Lady Caroline, he thinks that he’s never been so happy in his life.

Then, two weeks later, he receives a letter from Blue informing him that she is coming to visit her cousin Orla and Mr. Pender.

Adam is surprised at the amount of elation one person can feel.

Blue arrives a week later and Adam is the first to visit her. Gansey, unfortunately, is busy with his aunt, but he does send a note apologizing for not being able to meet Blue. She sees Gansey that night at dinner, however, and he is, if not completely to her liking, at least much improved in her mind.

The next morning Blue tells Adam that she finds Lady Caroline completely repulsive. Adam, looking around to make sure Mr. Pender is not around, quietly agrees with her.

That morning they go on a walk, and it becomes a habit of theirs to take walks in the mornings. Sometimes Colonel Czerny joins them. He and Blue get along splendidly. However, Blue informs Adam one day that the Colonel had made it clear there was no romance to be had there. Having been born a third son, Colonel Czerny is forced to marry rich, similar to Blue, and so, even though they get along, it is nothing more than friendship.

It is during one of these walks that Gansey finds them one morning.

“Parrish,” he says, relieved to have found them. “Ronan is looking for you, he says it’s very important.”

Adam nods. Neither Blue nor Gansey know about his relationship with Ronan, and Adam is trying to find an excuse to leave Blue when she shoos him away.

“Well, go on then,” she says. “Don’t want to make Mr. Lynch wait.”

“You don’t mind?” Adam asks, feeling guilty at his own readiness to abandon his sister.

“Not at all,” she says and gently pushes Adam away. “God knows he is unpleasant without reason. We don’t want to give him any now, do we?”

Gansey steps forward. “Perhaps I can accompany Miss Sargent?”

Without thinking much on Gansey’s suggestion, Adam leaves the two of them talking and goes searching for Ronan. He finds Ronan sitting on the steps that lead up to Stonewill’s main entrance. Ronan rises when he sees Adam.

“Take a walk with me, Parrish?” he asks, walking towards him.

Adam nods. “I was already on a walk with my sister.”

Ronan leads him towards the path that circles the park. “And now you’re on a walk with me,” he says. His gaze never quite lands on Adam when he talks, and when he’s not talking, he looks up at the cloudless sky.

“Gansey said you wanted to see me for something important?” Adam asks after a moment of silence. Unlike Ronan, he is willing to make eye contact, and his gaze never leaves Ronan’s face, even as they walk.

Ronan raises his hands and begins biting on the end of his sleeves. It’s not a very polite gesture, but Adam doesn’t mind. He can tell that Ronan is nervous, and he won’t begrudge him habits that help deal with the nerves.

“Yes,” Ronan says eventually. “I mean, not that important. Certainly it’s not urgent.”

“But Gansey--”

Ronan raises a hand to stop Adam’s sentence. “Look, I told Gansey it was important because I wanted him to find you and not blow it off to go and attend his crazy aunt.”

“Well, what is it?”

Ronan stops in his tracks, and begins tapping his feet. His hands are stuffed in his pockets, and he is looking away from Adam, head turned and gaze intense.

“Ronan?”

“I’m going to go home for a visit,” Ronan says slowly. “Gansey is pretty busy here, he barely has any time for me. I don’t like this place, it smells like death and posh old women. Either way, I thought now would be a good time to go home.”

“I see,” Adam says quietly. It’s dawning on him that perhaps Ronan’s nerves are presenting themselves because he fears what Adam will do when their relationship is terminated. “You don’t have to be nervous, I understand.” Adam takes a step back, hiding his hands behind his back and keeping eye contact with Ronan.

“You do?” Ronan asks.

“Of course,” Adam replies. “I mean, three weeks is not really a long time, right? I understand that keeping in contact after such a short time might be ridiculous.”

“What are you talking about?” Ronan looks confused. Adam can tell when the confusion sets in because despite his feelings, he has continued talking with his gaze fixed on Ronan.

“You want to,” Adam stops and finally looks away, “end our relationship since you’re going back to Ireland.”

Ronan frowns at him, at his response. “I didn’t say that,” he says. “Why would you jump to that conclusion? Do you want to end our relationship?”

“Of course not,” Adam says. “But I thought--”

“You thought wrong,” Ronan cuts in.

“But you’re nervous,” Adam argues.

Ronan scoffs. “Yes, because I was planning on asking you to accompany me.”

Stunned, Adam remains quiet. After a moment of nothing but the sound of the wind in the trees, Ronan continues on. “I thought maybe you’re bored here too, since the Monster is keeping Gansey and Czerny captive. I’m not planning on staying too long, so Gansey shouldn’t mind your absence.”

Adam nods, slowly registering Ronan’s words. His affections for Ronan have grown and grown and yet, he could not have imagined such an invitation.

“Do you still wish for me to accompany you?”

“Of course,” Ronan answers, as if the question itself is ridiculous.

“Even after my assumptions?”

Ronan takes a step closer to Adam, close enough that he is within touching distance. Adam reaches out and rests his hands on Ronan’s chest.

“Well?” Ronan asks.

“Do you think I’ll like Ireland?” Adam asks. He feels Ronan’s hands on his waist and catches Ronan’s smile before he ducks his head in embarrassment.

“I hope so,” Ronan says.

“Wouldn’t it be improper?” Adam asks. “Won’t people talk?”

Ronan shrugs and they break apart. “It is slightly improper,” he says and sounds as if he is not at all bothered by the demands of society. “So will you come?”

He offers Adam his arm and, taking it, Adam responds, “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some kissing happened and stuff. All you know, run of the mill. I think I have a bit of a rain problem, though if I'm being completely honeset. Comments are greatly appreciated! 
> 
> The next update tomorrow most likely.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ireland, idiots in love, and a tragic misunderstanding.

**IV.**

“What do you mean you’re going to Ireland?” Gansey demands the next morning. “You cannot leave!”

He is pacing the study that his aunt has loaned to him while Adam sits in a chair, observing his outburst.

“Why not?” Adam asks. “You are too busy and have no time for me, and Mr. Lynch has been kind enough to offer his home for a few weeks.”

This response serves to mollify Gansey, and humbled, he speaks in a much quieter voice. “I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you, my friend,” he says. “My aunt…”

“I understand,” Adam says, shaking his head. “I am not cross with you. I will be back before you know it.”

“Will you?” Gansey asks, taking a seat.

Adam smiles reassuringly. “Of course I will. I know you are busy. I know your aunt is demanding. I promise this interlude will not take long.”

Gansey sighs. “I am sorry for screaming at you.”

Adam waves the apology off. He is not offended.

“I am glad you and Ronan are getting along. That man has a hard enough time making friends as it is, since he dislikes most people he meets. But…” here Gansey stops and looks thoughtfully at Adam. “He has always been fond of you.”

Adam, who had begun tuning Gansey out, finds his attention snagged back by the man’s last comment. “Fond of me?”

“Yes,” Gansey says. “Well, I mean, at first he disliked you as much as he dislikes everyone. He did, however, warm up to you quickly.”

Adam smiles, a private smile he’s sure Gansey will miss.

“Either way, I won’t begrudge you a break from this house,” Gansey says. “Enjoy yourself in Ireland.”

\--

“You are leaving me here, alone, with Orla, Mr. Pender and the family at Stonewill?” Blue asks that afternoon. “Have you no thought for my sanity?”

“I will not be gone for long,” Adam reasons, knowing full well that attempting to placate her will fail.

“Yes, however, I will be gone by the time your visit to Ireland ends,” Blues says. “Why do you wish to go? I don’t understand. You told me that you are not fond of Mr. Lynch.”

Her words result in Adam fidgeting uncomfortably. “I have become more acquainted with him.”

Narrowing her eyes at him, Blue asks. “And knowing him better has suddenly made his horrible behavior tolerable?”

Adam doesn’t answer her. The answer to her question is yes. Knowing Ronan Lynch has made his behavior, if not acceptable, at least understandable. Having spent time with him has made Adam see the subtleties of his character, the nuances in the way he perceives the world, and even the humor in the jokes he makes.

He doesn’t answer her because he doesn’t think she’ll understand. Instead of an answer, he says, “I’ve already told him that I’ll go. I can’t say no now.”

Blue huffs. “You mean you won’t. You _want_ to go. I can see it in the way you talk. Did you think I knew you so little that I would not notice?”

Adam sighs and reaches out to press her hand. “I did not mean to insult you.”

“I know you didn’t,” she says, but takes her hand pointedly out of his. “But I am still upset with you.”

“You are allowed that.”

“Have fun with Mr. Lynch, then,” she says as way of dismissal. “Now, if you excuse me, I have Orla and Mr. Pender to attend to.”

\---

They leave on a Monday morning and their journey is unremarkable. Adam and Ronan board a ship, then, once in Ireland, they travel via carriage. Adam chats with Ronan, and notices, with pleasure, Ronan’s increasing excitement. As they enter the village that borders the estate, Ronan’s eagerness renders him unable to speak, and so they spend the last part of their journey in silence.

Adam does not mind, he fixes his gaze on the passing countryside, and wonders what Ronan’s family home is like. Houses pass him by, flickering in the sunlight. Eventually the carriage turns onto a drive that is surrounded by tall trees.

It seems they’ve arrived at the estate.

When the carriage stops in front of a set of stairs, Adam exhales in anticipation. Ronan exists the carriage first and holds the door open for him to get out. Adam looks around greedily once he is outside, and is surprised at what awaits him. Gansey is possibly the wealthiest man Adam has ever met, but he’s always known that Ronan Lynch came from a wealthy family. Looking at Ronan’s family’s estate, however, distorts that knowledge.

The park is big, bigger even, than Lady Caroline’s. However, the house is simple, less polished than houses belonging to British gentry. Adam, who had expected grandiose, is oddly charmed.

“Well?” Ronan asks.

“Well, what?”

“What do you think?” Ronan grabs Adam’s elbow and begins leading him towards the house.

Adam watches the path, then the house, they stop on the steps because Adam wants to look towards the park again. “It’s very nice,” he says. “Different than I expected.”

“Different?” Ronan asks, brow furrowing.

“A good kind of different,” Adam answers. “Better than Gansey’s aunt’s estate.”

Ronan snorts. “Yes, of course.”

Adam watches birds flying from one tree to the next as Ronan’s hand finds his and grips it tightly. “Do you like it?”

The colors are deep; green and brown and blue, and they feel like they’ve been plucked out of a dream. The sky is speckled with clouds, and the evening sun is glimmering near the horizon, rendering it orange. This place feels like a castle belonging to the fae.

Adam turns to Ronan. “I feel like I’m in a dream.”

Ronan smiles, pleased. “The house does that to you.”

“I haven’t even entered it.”

“The grounds then,” Ronan grumbles. “Must you always be so precise?”

“Does the estate have a name?”

Ronan shrugs. Someone--a footman?--has taken their luggage inside, and the main doors are open, Ronan leads Adam through them. “It did, at some point.”

“And now?” Adam asks, looking at the hall they’ve just entered.

Their footsteps echo on the wooden floor. “We call it the Barns. Well, my family does. My father always said that the name has been passed down through generation, but I always assumed he made it up.”

They walk up the stairs to the second floor, and Ronan leads Adam to a room. “Settle in,” he says and leaves Adam.

Adam turns to his luggage. He opens it, takes out clothes and decides to ring the bell for a bath.

The bath helps him relax, eases his muscles, and rids him of the uncomfortable feeling of sweat. When he is dressed again, he leaves his room and descends the stairs towards a sitting room. At least, he thinks he’s going to a sitting room, Ronan has not had time to give him a tour of the house.

The room he enters is already occupied. A young man with a mess of curly blonde hair is sitting in an armchair, reading a book. He looks up when Adam enters, and a smile breaks over his handsome face. Adam notices, which warm pleasure, that despite his coloring, the man looks like a younger version of Ronan.

“You must be Mr. Parrish,” he says, standing up and extending his hand towards Adam. “Matthew Lynch, nice to meet you.”

Ronan’s younger brother then. Ronan’s devoted to the young man, Adam knows, just from hearing him talk.

“Where is Ronan?” Adam asks as they sit down.

“He’s gone to talk to the butler,” Matthew answers. “He’s been gone for a while, and technically he’s the head of the house. My oldest brother, Declan, married young and rich, and so has no need of the Barns. He gave its care to Ronan.”

Adam raises his brows in surprise. He knew that Ronan had an older brother, and knew also, that Ronan’s older brother kept himself out of the affairs of their estate, but he did not know that the care of the estate had fallen to Ronan.

“And you?” Adam asks, wondering about the economy of the third son from a wealthy family.

Matthew raises his book. “I’m in school. My father left us all a sum of money, you see, so technically, I’m set. I do, however, like to keep busy.”

Adam thinks as they sit there, that Ronan likes to keep busy too, even if his way of keeping busy is different from his brother’s.

They chat, their conversation moving on from Matthew’s family affairs to Adam’s stay at Stonewill, and on towards Adam’s family. Ronan joins them right before dinner. He swats at Matthew’s hair and lingers by Adam before taking a seat and striking up a separate conversation. Adam watches him talk with his brother, silent, yet attentive.

After dinner, Ronan walks Adam to his room. They linger by the threshold, Adam wants to invite him in, yet doesn’t know how to.

“Did you enjoy your day?” Ronan asks, voice gentle.

“I did,” is his answer. “Matthew is delightful.”

Ronan nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “He’s the best of us.”

“I don’t know,” Adam says. “You’re a decent enough fellow.”

Ronan laughs. Adam loves the way he laughs.

“Will you invite me in?” Ronan asks, nervously. “I have not seen you all day.”

“We spent the day traveling together in a carriage.”

“Perhaps,” Ronan says. His hand brushes Adam’s shoulder. “Yet, I feel as if I have not spoken to you in weeks.”

“You are too sentimental,” Adam smiles. “If I were to tell anyone, your image would be ruined.”

Ronan moves closer, hands circling Adam’s shoulders. “I’ll ensure your silence.”

Adam asks, “And how will you do that?”

Ronan kisses him in response.

Adam is uncertain how long they spend on the threshold of his room, kissing, but when Ronan pulls away, he feels flustered.

“That is one way to keep me silent, I’ll give you that,” he says, his eyes closed. “Although to keep me silent indefinitely, you’ll have to kiss me indefinitely.”

He can hear Ronan’s breath of laughter. “I have no objections to that.”

Adam opens his eyes. “Do you wish to come in?” he asks.

To his surprise and disappointment, Ronan shakes his head. “Perhaps another night, we’ve spent too much of the day traveling. I’m sure you’re tired.”

“Oh?” Adam asks, masking his disappointment behind surprise. “You were the one who wished to come in just a moment ago.”

Ronan scratches his head, sheepish. “I know, I just thought--”

“Come inside,” Adam cuts him off, then stands on his toes to kiss Ronan firmly. “For a short time?”

Ronan follows him through the threshold.

Inside, Adam pushes Ronan against the closed door and kisses him. Ronan’s lips move in a small gasp, and then he kisses Adam back earnestly, mouth opening, hot and wet and inviting.

Adam’s hands move from Ronan’s chest to lock themselves around his neck. He stands on his toes briefly, deepening the kiss, and when he falls back on the balls of his feet, Ronan’s mouth follows him. Ronan’s hands, grip his waist and pull him closer, bringing Adam’s hips flush against his own. Adam stills momentarily at the contact and Ronan takes the opportunity to bite at his bottom lip, smiling when Adam’s grip on his neck tightens, then he rolls his hips.

Adam gasps, eyes opening and heat coursing through his body. “Ronan,” he says pulling away.

“Yes?” Ronan asks, his mouth trying to chase Adam’s again.

“I…” Adam says, at a loss for words. “We’ve…”

Ronan gives up trying to kiss Adam and sighs. “Kissing is nice, is it not?”

Adam nods.

“Shall we continue kissing? _Just_ kissing.” He pushes Adam’s hips away from his own gently.

Adam nods again. “I would like that.”

And so they kiss. They kiss until their lips hurt, and Adam cannot keep himself upright.

Ronan smiles against his lips when they say goodnight.

Adam slumps against his bed when Ronan has gone, too tired, even, to change into his sleeping clothes.

\--

The next morning, Adam is the first to go down to breakfast. Ronan joins him some time later, his stance lazy and his limbs moving slowly.

“How did you sleep?” he asks Adam, sipping his tea and yawning.

“I slept like a dead man,” Adam answers. “Did you know, I was so tired, I did not even take off my boots.”

“Very improper of you Mr. Parrish.”

“Indeed,” Adam says. He lifts his gaze to look at Ronan, “Where is Matthew?”

“Gone to visit my brother, Declan,” Ronan answers. “Quite possibly to drag him here for a visit.” The last part of his statement is spoken with unbelievable disdain.

“We are alone?” Adam asks, a thrill racing through him. “Just the two of us?”

Ronan glances from his tea back towards Adam. He looks caught off guard, as if it had not occurred to him that they were the only people left in the house. “We are,” he says wondrously.

“Will you take me on a ride in the park?” Adam asks.

“Do you wish to picnic?”

Adam laughs. “Perhaps, although I don’t fancy getting caught in the rain again.”

“I don’t know,” Ronan says. “Last time, it worked out very well for me.”

“For both of us,” Adam says sincerely, and for a moment, they look at each other, but the moment passes and Ronan looks away.

“You know, Parrish,” Ronan says casually. “You know, I’d been pining for you for years.”

Adam’s not certain he’d heard Ronan correctly. “What?”

“Indeed,” Ronan says, picking up a teaspoon and hitting it gently against his teacup. His gaze is fixed on the cup as he speaks. “I’d been thinking again and again how to get to know you better, and then Gansey decides to up and move right next to you. You can’t imagine my delight.”

“I can’t,” Adam says breathlessly. He would have never connected Ronan’s cold, disdainful and distant behavior with a man engulfed with desire. “You were not very friendly.”

Ronan smiles. “I am not a friendly person.” Then, his demeanor changes again. “A ride?”

“Yes.”

\--

The Barns has an extensive park. As they ride through it, Adam is once again overcome by the feeling that they are in a dream, and because they are in a dream, he stops Ronan in the middle of the field and kisses him, opens his vest and lets his hands wander underneath Ronan’s white shirt.

Ronan responds eagerly to everything. They kiss and kiss and find themselves lying side by side on the grass, their coats and vests discarded nearby.

“Your tattoo,” Adam says between kisses, a while later.

Ronan hums. “What about it?”

“Where is it?”

Ronan pulls away and Adam wants to protest. Ronan laughs at Adam when he tries to pullRonan back to himself.

“Don’t you want to see my tattoo?”

Adam nods and lets go of Ronan’s arms.

Ronan begins taking off his shirt and Adam’s breath stops. He feels himself tensing with anticipation as the white fabric leaves Ronan’s pale body. Ronan drops his shirt on the ground and turns around.

Adam sucks in a deep breath.

Ronan’s entire back is covered by a black tattoo. There are vines, curls of leaves and open beaks. Adam stares, fascinated, as image after image reveals itself to him on Ronan’s back.

“May I?” Adam asks, his voice rough. “May I touch it?”

Ronan glances back at him. “Of course.”

Adam raises his hand, inching forward, timid at first, then, as he touches Ronan’s back and feels it flex, more bold. He splays his hand against the center of Ronan’s back, then begins tracing the claws and vines with his fingers. Round and round it goes, and Ronan’s breath becomes more and more shallow as Adam’s fingers explore his back. When his fingers reach Ronan’s shoulder, Adam curves them, letting his nails scratch down Ronan’s back as they fall to his waist.

“Adam,” Ronan breaths. His head is leaning back and his chest is rising and falling with the force of his ragged breath.

“Yes?” Adam asks, attempting a casual tone. He knows he’s been teasing Ronan, knows how much Ronan wants him, especially after last night. But he’s been focusing on Ronan, on touching his back, of exploring his tattoo, and so has ignored the effect of the actions on himself.

“You are being unbelievably rude,” Ronan says. He turns quickly and grabs at Adam’s hand, bringing his fingers to his mouth and kissing them each gently.

Adam watches him through hooded eyes, his heart racing. He’s staring at Ronan’s naked chest, and Ronan’s mouth is still hovering over his fingers. “Am I?” he breathes. He’s not sure where his voice has gone, it has just left him.

“You are,” Ronan says against his palm and kisses him there. “Teasing me with your touches, as though I don’t love the feel of your hands.”

“I didn’t know,” Adam says. “You’ve never said.”

Ronan gives him a smile that is sweet and malicious and so, so heated. He cradles Adam’s hand between his own, and gently turns it around to kiss his knuckles. “Haven’t I?”

“No,” Adam replies.

“My mistake,” Ronan says and kisses Adam’s knuckles again. Then he drops Adam’s hand and leans in to gently kiss his lips.

Adam melts into the kiss, heat coursing through his veins, a furnace having been lit in his heart. Adam grips Ronan’s shoulders like a lifeline, pulling him towards himself. The weight of Ronan’s body against his is too much, and they tumble to the ground, their kiss breaking. Ronan laughs and moves above him, his body hovering over Adam’s.

“Is this ok?” he asks. The sun has decided to leave the cover of the clouds, and instead is keeping itself busy by giving Ronan Lynch a halo.

“It is,” Adam says. There are too many forces attempting to take Adam’s breath away. He doesn’t fight them.

“Last night,” Ronan begins and cuts himself off when he feels Adam’s hands on his waist.

“I wanted to kiss,” Adam says. He runs one hand up Ronan’s naked back to settle it on his neck. “Now…”

“You are overdressed,” Ronan says. He lowers himself gently on his elbows, the action bringing him closer to Adam.

“Perhaps you are underdressed,” Adam says, nonsensically. Ronan’s hips are touching his and his brain has begun to malfunction.

“I think not.” Ronan’s hands find themselves in Adam’s hair and he lowers his mouth to Adam’s neck. His breath tickles and Adam twists underneath him.

“Now you are teasing.”

“Am I?” Ronan asks. His hips move gently and Adam groans.

“You are.”

“So you know how it feels.” Ronan’s lips brush against Adam’s pulse point.

Adam raises his hip slightly, making sure to grind it again’s Ronan’s. Ronan’s mouth moves against his throat.

“Kiss me like you mean it,” Adam says, accompanying his statement with another roll of his hips.

Ronan does.

Whatever breath was left in Adam’s lungs leaves him as Ronan’s mouth plies his open and Ronan’s hips grind against his. They move against each other, bodies writhing, desperately seeking release.

“Adam,” Ronan breaths, kissing the corner of Adam’s mouth, his cheeks, his jaw, his neck. “Adam.”

Adam groans in response, eyes closed, mouth seeking Ronan’s again.

“I want to touch,” Ronan whispers against Adam’s neck. “Let me touch you.” His hands grab at the bottom of Adam’s shirt, releasing it from the confines of his pants, and then he is lifting the shirt up and Adam has to let go to let him take it off.

Ronan’s hands roam Adam’s body, even as the two of them settle into their rhythm again.

Adam is uncertain he’s ever felt this kind of desperation, this kind of desire. Ronan’s hands are hot brands against his skin, and all he can think about is wanting more, more, more.

“You’re perfect,” Ronan chokes out. “You are so beautiful and so perfect.”

“Ronan,” Adam says, desperately. He arches into Ronan’s thrusts, eager. Ronan bites his neck, his hips meeting Adam’s urgently, rhythm faltering, becoming more desperate. They move against each other until their release takes them.

After, Ronan slumps against Adam, burying his face in Adam’s neck. He lays there for several moments, chest rising as Adam’s falls, then begins kissing Adam’s neck gently.

“I don’t know what to say,” Adam admits, as Ronan peppers his neck in kisses. “I’ve never been in this situation before.”

Ronan huffs, pleased.

“Do I say thank you?” Adam continues. “That was great. Let’s do it again some time, shall we?”

“Adam,” Ronan says quietly.

“My pants are quite wet,” Adam continues. “They will dry soon and then what?”

Ronan groans, raising himself off of Adam and sitting. “You shit,” he grins. “You’ve ruined the moment.”

Adam grins, going for cheeky, yet uncertain if he achieves it.

“I take back what I said about you being perfect,” Ronan says, though his own soft smile betrays his lie. “Clearly I was wrong.”

“Clearly,” Adam says. He raises a hand and runs his fingers along Ronan’s cheek. “It was nice.”

“Yes,” Ronan says.

“I didn’t know what to say, I thought I would be awkward if I talked.”

“So you ruin the moment?”

Adam closes his eyes and nods. “Better than being awkward.”

Ronan plumps himself down next to Adam. “If you say so.”

“I liked it.”

“Your moment ruining comment?”

“No,” Adam says, turning on his side to look at Ronan. “You on top of me, without your shirt.”

Ronan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I did too.”

They stay silent. Then, Ronan speaks up.

“Did you want to continue riding.”

Adam groans. “I think I prefer a bath. My pants…” he trails off.

“Let’s go back,” Ronan says, standing, and extends a hand to Adam. Adam takes it and lets Ronan pull him to a standing position. Adam likes the heat of Ronan’s palm against his own, he is loathe to let go.

Ronan seems to sense this. Either that or he too does not want to let go of Adam’s hand. He tangles their fingers together and begins heading towards the house.

“The horses,” Adam begins.

“I’ll send a stablehand for them,” Ronan responds and they walk back towards the Barns.

\---

That night, Adam sleeps in Ronan’s room. He knows, certainly he knows, how improper such an action is, how it would reflect on his name if anyone were to find out. However, thinking on the events of the afternoon leads him to the conclusion that sleeping is nowhere near as scandalous as what they’d done in the fields.

He doesn’t regret anything.

What’s more, he attempts, in the upcoming week, to get Ronan alone and his clothes off as much as possible.

Ronan obliges. He is always eager.

They make a fine, scandalous pair.

At least they are both happy.

Adam is uncertain of the last time he has been so happy. His sister Blue and his friend Gansey have always brought joy to his life, but the comfort, the warmth and delight he feels with Ronan is different.

Perhaps Adam’s much abused lips would like to object to such happiness, but Adam does not care.

He is happy.

He is certain that Ronan--brooding, angry, rude Ronan--is also very happy.

That is all he needs.

Their equilibrium breaks, however, a fortnight later, when Matthew returns with Ronan’s eldest brother in tow.

Declan is polite, well dressed, and extremely disapproving. Adam knows, from the moment he meets the man, that the two will not get along.

He meets Declan on a very nice morning. He and Ronan had been planning on riding to the village that day, but their plans are ruined when the footman walks into the card room, announcing Declan and Matthew Lynch.

Adam can tell at first glance that Declan is Ronan’s brother. They have the same eyes, same dark hair, and same facial structure. However, Ronan’s face has been breaking into bright smiles whenever he looks at Adam lately. Declan’s does no such thing. He is frowning as he walks into the room and his frown only deepens when he spots Adam and Ronan.

They have a very uncomfortable introduction, and then Declan is sitting on the sofa, across from Adam and they are forced to talk.

“So you are the famous Mr. Parrish,” Declan says. “Even if Ronan had not talked of you, Gansey is certainly fond of mentioning your name to anyone who will listen.”

Adam is uncertain whether to be insulted by the statement or not. He chooses not to dwell on it. “Indeed? I’m glad we are finally meeting, then.”

“Of course,” Declan says, not sounding glad at all. “How is your family?”

Adam briefly tells Declan about Mr. Grey and Maura, of Mr. Pender and his recent marriage to Orla, and of Blue’s travels.

Declan remains unimpressed. “Of course, this is all very well, but they are not your family.”

“Of course they are,” Adam says. “I know no other family.”

“What of your father then?” Declan asks. Adam wonders how long Declan has known about Adam’s father, wonders who told him.

“What of him? I’m sure he is alright,” Adam says, voice suddenly sharp. “We do not keep in touch.”

“And why is that?” Declan asks, not kindly. “The man is your father, surely you owe him respect.”

“Surely, if he had been a father to me, I would owe him respect,” Adam says, standing. He feels as if he is fleeing but he no longer wishes to talk to Declan Lynch. “Excuse me, I need to attend to something.”

He leaves the room.

It seems that Declan Lynch does not like him.

Adam does not care. Ronan likes him, and that is all that matters.

Or… it is, until a few days after Declan’s arrival, when Adam is walking to breakfast (from his own room, because with Matthew and Declan in the house, he and Ronan cannot share a room) he overhears raised voices and, worried, follows them. The voices get louder and more comprehensible, and when Adam stops by the door, he finds that they belong to Ronan and his brother Declan.

Not wanting to eavesdrop, Adam turns to leave, but stops when he hears his own name.

“What I do with Mr. Parrish is none of your concern.” It is Ronan’s voice. He sounds angry, Adam hesitates.

“Is it not?” That is Declan, and he too sounds angered. “You are my younger brother.”

“I am also an adult,” Ronan says. “And I can make my own decisions.”

There is a brief pause, in which Adam does not move a muscle.

“You cannot be serious about this!” Declan says. “Think of your reputation!”

“My what?”

“Your reputation, Ronan,” Declan says, enunciating every clearly. “You cannot marry the destitute son of a dishonored clergyman and expect it to survive.”

Adam chills at those words, at the cutting and cruel way that Ronan’s brother sums up Adam’s situation. He is right of course, Adam thinks, as he slowly walks away from the closed door. Declan Lynch has all the information anyone would ever need on Adam to dismiss him as an eligible bachelor. Adam lives in a gentleman’s home, but his father is no gentleman, how could he ever have thought himself equal to Ronan Lynch?

He climbs the stairs to his own room and barricades himself there. Adam is not prone to bouts of depression, but he makes an exception today as he sits in his bed and thinks of all the ways he and Ronan are incompatible.

Ronan Lynch, with his vast income and his beautiful, dreamlike estate, could never be serious about someone like Adam Parrish. Adam Parrish who left his father’s home, who has nothing to his name but a meagre sum from his mother, whose income is so small that he had to go through hardship to put himself through school.

Why would Ronan want him? Why would someone like Ronan be serious about him?

Ronan, who could have any man. Ronan who is beautiful and funny and a good seat. Ronan who swims and has a tattoo...

Ronan is too good for him. Adam has known this, has always been aware of it. He’d known it when they first met, had known it even as they became friends.

He shouldn’t have let himself forget that fact.

There is knock at his door, and Adam glances at it, registers Ronan’s strained voice on the other side. He doesn’t want to see Ronan now, he wants to be alone. He makes up an excuse about not feeling well. Ronan tries to open the door, and expresses surprise at it being locked.

“Let me in, Parrish,” Ronan says. “I want to see you.”

“I’d like to be alone,” Adam says.

“Do you need a doctor?”

“No.”

There is a pause. “I’ll come for you at dinner.”

And then Ronan’s gone and Adam is alone.

Alone, alone, alone. That’s what he wants isn’t it? To be alone, to not see Ronan, to not talk to Ronan.

Did he think that he and Ronan would get married? Adam tells himself that he did not, that the thought never even crossed his mind.

Yet, if he is being honest with himself, he knows that it did. That’s what happens when a man falls in love, he wishes to get married.

Adam realizes, with a deep pang, that he is in love with Ronan Lynch.

Ronan Lynch who is rich, who is handsome, who is a gentleman.

Ronan Lynch who is too good for him.

Adam sighs and lays his head on his folded knees. He will not cry. He cannot cry.

_“You cannot marry the destitute son of a dishonored clergyman and expect it to survive.”_

Tears prickle at the corners of his eyes and Adam wills them away. He wonders what Ronan had said in response to his brother. Did he defend Adam? Proclaim love? Adam is certain that Ronan cares for him, but what would be his response in that situation?

It wouldn’t matter, in the end.

Ronan will tire of him, sooner or later. It doesn’t matter what he wants now. He is too good for Adam. He will move on, one way or another.

Unbidden, thoughts of their week together come to Adam. Ronan had been so gentle, so attentive. He’d been so different from his previous self.

He’d called Adam perfect.

He’d called Adam perfect over and over again, and he’d kissed Adam’s hands.

He’d held Adam in his arms and kissed his cheeks and made Adam fall for him.

Adam is not certain how he will survive Ronan’s eventual rejection.

(Rejection is inevitable, Ronan is too good for Adam.)

He is not aware of the passage of time, but at one point, there is a knock on his door and Adam raises his head from his knees again.

“Adam?” Ronan’s voice is concerned, it is quiet. Adam loathes it.

“Yes?”

“I brought you dinner, will you open the door?”

Adam opens the door, not because he wants to, but because he knows he has to.

The sight of Ronan’s handsome face hurts like a stab wound. Adam forgets to breath.

“May I come in?” Ronan asks, hesitant.

Adam steps aside to let him in.

Ronan places the dinner tray on Adam’s beside table and sits down on the bed.

“Are you better now?” he asks.

Adam shrugs, not looking at Ronan. He closes the door, because he thinks it’s a good idea to talk privately.

“What’s wrong, Parrish?” Ronan attempts at a lighthearted note, and fails.

“Nothing is wrong,” Adam replies curtly. “I’ve been thinking.”

“About?”

“You,” Adam says. “Your intentions with me.”

Ronan looks taken aback. A flicker of anger passes through his eyes, but he suppresses it. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Adam says. “You’ve brought me here to your house, you’ve let me sleep in your bed. And yet, we are not wed, we are not engaged. You have to know how improper your behavior has been.”

“I didn’t mean…”

“Of course you didn’t mean. You didn’t think, did you? Am I worth so little, that my reputation means nothing?” Adam knows, he knows at a deep level, how illogical his words are, yet he talks and talks, anger and insecurity commandeering his tongue and his brain.

“No,” Ronan begins, quiet. Too quiet, and Adam hesitates. Ronan looks guilty, as if Adam’s words have some truth to them. Adam had not thought, deep down, despite his day’s sorrows, that Ronan was not serious about him. He’d had hope.

Yet here is Ronan, sitting on Adam’s bed, mute in the face of Adam’s accusations.

“Of course it means nothing. I am not a gentleman, am I? Nor am I a gentleman’s son. I am nothing.”

“Adam,” Ronan says again. Hesitant, slow, and too late.

“Leave my room, Mr. Lynch,” Adam says, quiet now, his anger having burned through him. “And tell your coach to be ready for my departure tomorrow morning.”

“What?” Ronan says. “But--”

“Please leave.” Adam opens the door, refuses to watch Ronan as the man stumbles out.

He doesn’t sleep that night.

The next morning, he leaves without a goodbye.

\---

_My Dearest Mr. Parrish,_

_I hear that you have returned to Foxleigh. I have to say to you, my dear friend, that I am severely wexed. I recall that before your departure to Ireland, you assured me that you would be with me again in a matter of weeks. Yet, I hear nothing from you in over a month, and hear from Mr. Pender of all people, that you’ve joined the Grey family at their abode. Your sister has also expressed irritation, although, she is currently touring the countryside with her aunt and uncle. We keep in touch, Ms. Sargent and I. Which is something you would have known if you had written to me._

_What has happened, my friend? Why have you left Ireland without Ronan? Why have you remained silent?_

_I would come to you immediately, to confront you face to face, however, I am needed more in Ireland. I’ve received a letter from Ronan’s brothers, and am packing even as I write you this letter. Declan is very concerned. He wrote that Ronan has returned to his old habits, similar to when their father had died. You did not know him then, but he was very reckless. He would drink himself silly and pick fights with the locals. I would visit him often, and find him bruised and battered and too drunk for a conversation._

_Adam, I am worried for him._

_Please, if you know something, let me know. I hope that my presence will alleviate some of Ronan’s pain, but I don’t know what has happened. If Declan and Matthew know, they have said nothing in their letter._

_I hope to hear from you soon, my friend. Until then, wish me the best of luck._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Richard C. Gansey III_

_\--_

Adam reads the letter once.

He does not respond.

\--

_My Dear Friend,_

_It has been weeks and I’ve heard no response from you. I’ve been very worried. Ms. Sargent writes that you have kept mostly to yourself, that you’ve made no attempts to mingle in society, and you hardly talk to her. Parrish, I’ll be honest with you, I’m besides myself with worry. You and Ronan have both been a source of stress, although at least with Ronan, I see him and therefore, am reassured of his safety._

_You are safe, aren’t you?_

_I wish to see you. I’ve been in Ireland, as you know, and spending time with Ronan. He is not well, yet he is unwilling to talk to me. I’m not surprised, Ronan has always been terrible at talking. However, his mood is improving, perhaps it is because of my presence. He does not go out very much, he drinks less. I have only caught him with a bloody nose once._

_I am hoping he recovers soon, for I plan to come to you as soon as Ronan is able to travel. I suspect it will be a few weeks until then._

_There is something else, something personal and selfish and exhilarating that I wish to discuss with you. My dear friend, I need your advice and I need your ears. I have missed you and our conversations, you cannot know how badly. To be completely honest, I have two reasons for returning to your side of the country, but I will say no more until I have come face to face with you._

_I do expect a response from you, Parrish. I only excuse your silence if, upon seeing you, you demonstrate some severe illness that prohibits you from writing._

_I cannot wait to see you, friend. I hope you are well._

_Sincerely,_

_Richard C. Gansey III_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm so sorry I am so sorry I have failed my schedule. 
> 
> I love Declan, it pained me to have him cause such drama. It also pained me to write such drama.
> 
> Thanks for reading tho!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gansey and Ronan return to Raven's Nest. Gansey has a surprise. Some confessions happen, and there's a lot of rain again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As an "I'm sorry for being so late," I've decided to post the last chapter tonight as well. Enjoy!

**V.**

Gansey and Ronan return to Raven’s Nest on a dark, stormy day.

Adam admits, as he gazes outside his window, that he is being dramatic. He likes to tell himself, however, that the weather is reflecting his mood. Ronan is here and will once again move in the same circles as Adam. Adam does not know how he will bear it. Even the promise of Gansey’s company is not enough to raise Adam’s mood.

He is nervous about seeing Gansey too. He has spent the past month ignoring Gansey’s increasingly frantic letters.

Adam pointedly does not think about the contents of Gansey letters. He does not think about the descriptions of Ronan’s sadness or pain. He does not think of Ronan drunk and angry, picking fights and purposefully hurting himself. It is not about him.

 _Except that it is_ , a betraying voice whispers in his ears, _it is all your fault. You hurt him._

 _Ronan is too good for me,_ Adam tells the traitorous voice. _He knows it, I know it’s better this way._

Except, after having read Gansey’s letters, Adam wonders whether he made a mistake.

Adam needs to stop warring with himself. He needs to face the facts. Gansey will want to see Adam, and Ronan will be there. Adam knew this would happen eventually; he knew so he should not be dreading the event so strongly.

He feels he should go and visit Gansey immediately, but he is a coward, and so, he waits for Gansey’s summons to go and visit his friend.

His stomach is in knots during the ride to Raven’s Nest. As he waits impatiently in the parlor for Gansey, Adam looks around, nervous, willing Ronan to appear and terrified of the moment when Ronan will.

Gansey, when he does appear, looks tired.

“You look well,” he says after shaking Adam’s hand. “You do not look like you’ve had a disease that prohibits you from responding to letters.”

Adam looks down at his feet, he has no response.

“You have been silent for too long,” Gansey says quietly. “Is it something I’ve done?”

Adam frowns, shaking his head. “I’ve been needing space. I wished to be alone.”

“So very alone,” Gansey says. “You’ve kept everyone away, even Ms. Sargent.”

Adam nods. Blue had come back from her journey excited and ready to talk. One conversation with Adam, however, had deflated her joy. She’d attempted, again and again to talk to him, to try and get at the source of his misery. But like a wall, Adam had kept her out.

“I’ve been craving my own company,” Adam says, forcing cheer into his own sentence. “But what of you? You said in your last letter that you wished to discuss something with me.”

Gansey’s countenance changes instantly. “I do.”

“Well,” Adam says, goading Gansey away from himself. “Tell me.”

“Alright,” Gansey says. “You know that you left me alone with my aunt and Mr. Czerny.”

“I will not apologize for that again,” Adam says.

“Well, you also left Ms. Sargent alone, and well, the two of us took many walks together. Alone. We were alone and we walked.”

“Oh?” Adam asks, amused, despite himself. “Is that all you did? Walk?”

Gansey, beautiful and oblivious, shakes his head. “No, we also talked.”

Adam laughs at him.

“What is so amusing?”

“Nothing,” Adam says, reassuringly. “Go on.”

“Ms. Sargent is very likable, is she not?” Gansey asks. “I enjoyed her company immensely.”

“Of course you did,” Adam says. “And?”

“And well, I was wondering,” Gansey asks. “Well, the truth of it is… I was wanting to propose?”

Adam cannot lie to himself, he is surprised. “You are in love with Blue?”

Gansey runs a hand through his immaculate hair. “I am, yes.”

“Wow,” Adam breathes. “I can’t believe it.”

Gansey looks at him hesitantly. “Do you think it is alright?”

“What is?”

“My being in love with Ms. Sargent.”

Adam smiles at his friend. “I think so, yes. Perhaps she wished to talk to me of you. I was not in a mood to listen, you see.”

“I know,” Gansey sighs. “I’ve kept in contact with her.”

“I am sorry, I’ve been a bad friend,” Adam says.

“Don’t worry about it,” Gansey says. “Do you think I should propose to her soon? And if so, when do you think is the best time?”

They talk for a while about the time, place, and method of Gansey’s impending proposal. Adam begins to relax, being next to someone whom he cares for dearly. He is relaxed and so, the shock that hits him is greater when the door opens and Ronan Lynch walks into the room.

He must not have expected Gansey to have company, because the moment his eyes land on Adam, he freezes and his gaze cools.

“Gansey,” he says, ignoring Adam. Adam’s not sure whether he is hurt or relieved. “You didn’t say you would have company.”

Gansey frowns at him. “It is only Adam.”

Ronan snorts and there is no warmth in it. He mutters something that sounds like “Only Adam, indeed,” and turns to leave.

“You are going?” Gansey asks. “But you’ve only arrived.”

“I have realized,” Ronan says, his back turned to them. “That at this moment, I’d like to be anywhere but this room. Let me know when your guest leaves.” And then he is gone, leaving behind a chill that engulfs Adam.

“Odd,” Gansey says. “He has improved, you know. I cannot imagine where such a behavior came from.”

 _Me_ , Adam thinks miserably. _He must hate me._

To Gansey he says. “You said yourself, he is unpredictable.”

“You’re right, of course,” Gansey responds. “However, I can’t help but wonder… do you know, Adam, what happened to him?”

Adam swallows and shakes his head.

“Why did you leave Ireland so quickly?”

To this, Adam shrugs. “I don’t wish to talk about it.”

“Was it because of Ronan?”

“I told you,” Adam says, a trickle of anger seasoning his voice. “I don’t wish to talk about it.”

“Alright,” Gansey says. “I do not mean to harass you, but--”

“Then don't,” Adam says, harshly. Too harshly. Gansey does not deserve this. “Are we done talking of you and my sister’s impending wedding?”

Gansey shrugs. “We are done if you wish us to be done.”

“I do,” Adam says. “Thank you for inviting me, but I wish to go home now.”

“I do have another matter I want to discuss with you,” Gansey says. “If you are willing to listen.”

“Of course.”

“I want you to move into Raven’s Nest.”

Adam narrows his eyes at Gansey. “Why is that?”

“Well,” Gansey responds. “You agreed to work with me, and you have not expressed a desire to leave our professional partnership.”

“No,” Adam says, voice hollow.

“Do you wish to leave it?”

Adam thinks of the question. His immediate answer is, yes, of course he wants to leave if staying means sharing a house with Ronan Lynch. But he tries to be logical. He’d accepted the job from Gansey before he and Ronan’s affair. He’d enjoyed traveling with Gansey, living with Gansey, working with him. Ronan should not destroy that for him. “I don’t wish to leave it.”

“Excellent,” Gansey says. “When will you move in?”

\--

Adam moves into Raven’s Nest the next week.

It’s a terrible idea. Aside from the fact that he is constantly afraid of running into Ronan in the halls, he is forced to sit with Ronan at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They are not even pretending at friendship. At first, Adam is hesitant, but at Ronan’s outright hostility, he too becomes mean and cutting.

Gansey begs them to stop fighting, then he begs them to tell him what is wrong.

Neither request is indulged.

There is one respite from the endless hell that is living with the man he loves. Gansey has proposed to Blue. To Adam’s delight, Blue accepted Gansey’s offer of marriage. They are… for a lack of a better word, disgustingly happy together. For a while, Gansey is distracted from Adam and Ronan’s anger. He is getting ready to propose, then giddy beyond belief, then nervous because he needs to talk to Mr. Grey. After he has received the man’s blessing, Gansey is busy planning for the wedding.

He wishes to have a ball in which he can announce his engagement. Maura thinks it’s a great idea, Blue grumbles, but agrees that it would be nice to have a ball.

One morning during breakfast, while Ronan glares at his teacup and Adam pretends not to see Ronan, Gansey announces the news.

“I have an old friend who is coming for the ball and the wedding,” he says cheerfully. Adam knows his cheer is fake, only present in an attempt to dispel the gloom generated by himself and Ronan. “His name is Henry Cheng, Ronan has met him.”

“Unfortunately,” Ronan says. “I don’t wish to attend your ball Gansey.”

Gansey frowns at him. “But you will, won’t you?”

Ronan sighs, “I’ll have to. You _are_ getting married.”

“Thank you, Ronan,” Gansey says, visibly relieved.

“Although I don’t see how you can be attracted to such a short woman.”

Both Gansey and Adam turn their heads to glare at Ronan. The insult is petty and surprising, since last Adam had heard, Ronan was very fond of Blue. Before he can think, Adam is talking, defending his sister. “Excuse me?”

Ronan’s icy gaze lands on Adam and Adam finds himself shivering. “You are excused.”

“You cannot talk like that about Blue,” he says. He knows his anger is well placed, but his words are weak against Ronan’s cold exterior.

“I stated a fact, Mr. Parrish.” Ronan says Adam’s name like it’s the most disdainful word in the English language. “You cannot profess anger at mere facts.”

Adam grits his teeth together and looks to Gansey. Gansey is looking between them hopelessly, then after a moment, he says. “Please refrain from talking in such a language about my fiance, Ronan.”

Ronan grunts.

“And I want you both to know, Henry will be here the day before the ball. I expect the two of you to behave. Will you be able to?”

“I will be able to,” Adam says, glaring at Ronan despite himself. “If Mr. Lynch can promise to behave as well.”

Ronan does no such thing, he does not even acknowledge Adam’s statement. He stands from his chair loudly, and leaves the room.

“You know,” Gansey says, watching the door bang loudly. “You will have to tell me eventually what happened to the two of you in Ireland.”

Adam sighs, considering a dramatic exist of his own.

He stays in his seat however, Gansey does not deserve such dramatics from both of his friends.

\--

To Adam’s intense horror, they run into each other quite often. It is as if the universe has made it her goal to kill Adam from shock. Although he should be used to it, every time his eyes land on Ronan, whether walking in the park or in a hallway, his heart rate picks up and he feels the discomfort that is the result of his agitated nerves.

Ronan never talks to him.

He is hostile, cutting, beautiful--so, so beautiful. Despite himself, Adam’s eyes linger on his back, on the curve of his shoulders. He remembers, with agony, touching the tattoo that spans Ronan’s back. His eyes search for it, unbiddingly, every time he catches sight of Ronan’s back.

Adam thinks, miserably, that perhaps he should not have been so ready to move into Gansey’s home.

Yet, there is nothing to be done. Ronan is Gansey’s oldest friend, his happiness is tied to Gansey’s. Unfortunately, for both Adam and Ronan, they cannot be happy with Gansey while the other is present.

Adam tries to focus on the upcoming ball. He leaves Raven’s Nest often to visit Blue at Foxleigh. Blue’s company is pleasant until she begins asking about his troubled state of mind. When Adam shuts down such conversations, Blue becomes enraged. She is used to his obstinance, yes, but she is not used to being barred from his deepest feelings. She becomes frustrated with him and, eventually, stops asking about his happiness.

Instead they discuss hers. She recounts to him, with a mischievous glint in her eyes, how his abandonment led to her and Gansey’s friendship. She tells him that she knew when Gansey fell in love with her, and was not certain how she felt about him. She then talks of the relief she felt in leaving Stonewill for a trip with her relatives.

“He wrote to me while I was away,” Blue says, eyes glazed. “It was then that I realized, I missed him.”

Adam listens to her stories with interest. They are interesting because they contain two people whom he cares for dearly. They are also preferable to his own thoughts.

“What is more,” Adam says, teasing. “He is rich beyond imagination. How many mothers do you think wish to strangle you in your sleep?”

Blue laughs at him. “Too many to count. They were happier when they thought he was in love with you and their daughters had no chance of a future with him.”

“No one thought that,” Adam protests.

“Oh?” Blue smiles. “Many did.”

“I am glad they no longer do,” Adam says, hoping to end the conversation.

“I am not,” Blue says. “I fear that they will arrive to Gansey’s ball with pitchforks and torches.”

“We’ll throw Mr. Lynch at them if they do,” Adam says.

Blue regards him silently, and Adam knows that she wants to ask about him about Ronan, but she does not. She’s learned, it seems, to keep some thoughts to herself.

“Is Gansey bothering you to help with the ball?” She asks him, instead.

“He is,” Adam answers her, and their conversation moves towards the safe subject of the ball.

\--

The ball, when it is held, is a splendid event. Gansey’s friend Henry arrives a day before the ball, with all the pomp of an English gentleman, and his presence dilutes the ire that permeates the halls of Raven’s Nest. He is loud, and Adam can see that Ronan dislikes him immensely. Yet, it is this dislike that removes some tension from their dinner. Ronan, angry beyond compare, chooses to dine in his own room.

Adam misses him. He ignores that feeling and focuses on chatting with Henry Cheng and Gansey.

Henry charms Blue immediately. During the ball he dances with her twice, and is removed from her only when faced with Gansey’s sullen face.

“Don’t worry, my man,” Henry laughs. “I have no interest in marriage, or women, or men, or anyone.”

His statement does not pacify Gansey, but then again, Adam thinks that nothing but dancing with Blue would appease Gansey.

Adam does not dance for the majority of the ball, although many people attempt to engage him. His eyes wander the rooms, looking for Ronan, remembering the last time they were at a ball together and then reprimanding himself for the way his heart twists at the memory. He leaves the main hall eventually, sick of the sound of celebration, and finds solace in an unoccupied balcony.

He cannot stay away for long. Someone will notice his absence and find it odd, but he needs a moment to reorganize his thoughts.

There is nothing to be sad about, he tells himself. He danced with Ronan last time, yes, but that was before everything. At the time, he did not even know that he was in love with Ronan. They’d just danced.

Adam sighs, hating himself for having been oblivious during their last dance, hating himself also, for dwelling on such memories.

The past is gone.

Whatever was once between them is over, agonizing over it will do nothing but harm him.

Yet, these are words that Adam has repeated to himself, over and over, and they have had no result.

“Mr. Parrish?”

Adam turns. Henry Cheng is standing in the doorway, looking at him quizzically.

“Mr. Cheng,” Adam greets him, reigning in his emotions and removing them from his face. “How can I help you?”

“Gansey was asking for your whereabouts,” Henry says. “He wished to know if you’re alright.”

“I’m fine,” Adam says and follows Henry back to the dance hall.

“Have you danced tonight, Mr. Parrish?” Henry asks him when they rejoin the party.

“No.”

Henry looks at him. “Would you like to?”

Adam wants to say no. He is not too fond of Henry Cheng, although the man has done nothing to offend him. Furthermore, Adam has declined to dance with everyone tonight, so it would be ok to decline this one as well.

He doesn’t decline. He nods in affirmation at Henry’s offer and they dance.

It is odd, awkward. Different from when he’s danced with a friend. Different from when he danced with Ronan. Adam does not hate it, but he does not enjoy himself.

When the dance is over, he bows to Henry, straightens and--because the universe is torturing him--catches Ronan’s disbelieving eyes. Ronan’s eyes widen, flickering between Adam and Henry, misunderstanding the situation, and then, anger clouds them. He turns and leaves, and Adam watches his back and forces himself to remain in the dance hall.

Ronan Lynch’s misunderstanding is not his fault.

His anger is not Adam’s fault.

His hurt feelings are not….

Well… the ones concerning Henry are not Adam’s fault.

Adam excuses himself from Henry and begins the long trek back to his own rooms. He does not want to stay at the ball, and he is afraid that if he stays, he might wander off and look for Ronan.

Perhaps people will miss Adam’s presence.

Adam does not care.

\--

Gansey, apparently, did miss him. He recounts his vexation at finding Adam gone during breakfast the next morning. Henry sits silently while Gansey speaks, and Adam rubs at his eyes, trying to come up with an excuse that might placate Gansey.

Ronan is not at breakfast.

“I’m sorry,” Adam says. He is sorry. He is sorry he let his feelings control him, sorry that he let Ronan Lynch’s anger get to him. “I should not have left. I am being a very bad friend to you.”

Gansey sighs, anger gone at Adam’s apology. “You are not a bad friend. You are not well, and yet, refuse to discuss the subject of your unrest.”

Adam closes his eyes and sighs. “I am allowed to keep secrets from you, Gansey.”

Gansey glares at him. “Your are not.” He sounds so much like a petulant child that Adam almost laughs at him.

On the other side of the table, Henry does laugh, disbelieving. “Leave the man alone, Richard,” he says. “He really is allowed his secrets.”

Gansey extends his glare to Henry. Henry raises an eyebrow in challenge and Gansey sighs, defeated. “Where has Ronan gone?” he asks, to no one in particular.

“Are you his mother?” Henry asks. “I’m sure he’s fine, whatever he is up to. He cannot hurt himself too much, seeing as he does not have a soul.”

Adam feels a new wave of dislike for Henry Cheng.

His feelings must appear on his face, because Henry then says, “It seems I have offended Mr. Parrish with my comments. You will excuse me, sir, Mr. Lynch and I don’t have the best of relationships.”

“Your relationship with Mr. Lynch is none of my concern,” Adam says, rather cold.

“Is it not?” Henry asks. He is looking at Adam with newfound interest. “Is that why you are glaring at me?”

“I am not glaring,” Adam says, glaring. He turns to Gansey. “I know you are angry with me for leaving you, and again, I am sorry. There has been a lot on my mind lately.”

“Adam,” Gansey says. “I know. Will you talk to me?”

Adam sighs, he does not want to share his sorrow with Gansey. “Maybe soon,” he says, the most promising thing he’s said to Gansey in weeks. Then he stands. “I think I’ll go for a walk to clear my head. I’m sure you and Mr. Cheng have a lot to talk about.”

\---

English weather has a vendetta against all English people. In moments the skies turn from bright and sunny to a cloudy gloom. When Adam begins his walk, the sun is shining brightly. Half an hour later, a downpour begins.

He runs, not towards the house, the house is too far, but towards a belvedere in the woods. When he reaches it, the rain has soaked his hair and seeped through his clothes and he is shivering. He hovers underneath the roof, holding himself and trying to stop his teeth from chattering.

“You look like a drowned rat.”

Adam startles, turning to see, to his horror, Ronan walking towards him. Adam takes a step back. He is not sure when or how he offended God, why he deserves such bad luck. It might have been when he left his father the priest.

“Yes,” Adam says through his teeth. “You might not have noticed, but it is raining.”

Ronan grunts. He looks every bit as unhappy as he did last night. He looks tired too. His eyes are bloodshot and there are dark circles around them. His mouth is set in a cruel line. He looks wholly unapproachable even as he steps closer to Adam.

“You were not at breakfast this morning,” Adam says, the silence unbearable. He could, hypothetically, leave the confines of the belvedere and run back to the house. He might catch his death in the rain, but it could be worth it.

“Forgive me,” Ronan says bitterly. “I did not wish to sit at breakfast with Henry Cheng.”

“Oh?” Adam asks. “And what has he ever done to you?”

“He is too cheerful,” Ronan responds. “I cannot stand it,” he pauses, looking at Adam, something flashes in his eyes. “You seemed to have enjoyed his company.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He was the only person you danced with,” Ronan says, and now the loathing is evident in his voice. “I assume you enjoyed his company.”

“You assume wrong,” Adam says, quietly. He feels tired. Tired of feeling sad and lost. Tired of Ronan’s angry looks. Tired of not being present in his own life. “I danced with him… but I did not enjoy it.”

“Why did you do it then?”

Adam shrugs. “I don’t know. Sometimes, I don’t know why I do things.”

Ronan glances at him, curious.

“For example, I don’t know why I continue standing here, talking to you, when it is clear to me that you do not care for my company.”

“That is clear to you, is it?” Ronan asks, humorless.

“Yes,” Adam says, furious. “You’ve ignored me since I moved to Raven’s Nest. Avoided me like the plague.”

Ronan looks suddenly, very angry. “And why do you think that is?”

“You hate me,” Adam says. “Plain and simple.”

“Hate you?” Ronan sneers. “I wish I hated you.”

“Don’t you?” Adam asks. “You’ve been acting as if you do.”

“I’ve been acting out you mean? Yes I have, because you _left me_!” Ronan is angry, of course he is, but it is more than just anger, it is frustration and sadness. Adam can tell. “You picked a fight with me and then you left without a goodbye, without a care in the world for how I felt,” Ronan stops, his voice hoarse, his face pale. “I’m angry, of course I am, but don’t you dare accuse me of hating you. You are the one who did not care.”

“I cared,” Adam says softly, ashamed and yet, unable not to defend himself.

“ _You left!_ ” Ronan repeats.

“I left because I had to,” Adam says. “Because it was inevitable.”

“What was inevitable?” Ronan looks confused.

“Our separation,” Adam says. “I… heard you and Declan talking.”

“What?” Ronan asks, confused.

“That morning, I heard the two of you arguing. I heard what Declan said about me, my family, my financial standing…”

“What does that matter?” Ronan asks. “Those are Declan’s beliefs.”

“When I confronted you, you said nothing, you were quiet.” Adam remembers wanting Ronan to stand up for him, and being struck by his silence. “I didn’t really believe it, I thought you’d defend me.”

“I was surprised,” Ronan counters. “You yelled at me, and talked and talked before I had a chance to understand you.”

“So your intentions with me?” Adam asks, quiet.

Ronan smiles self deprecatingly. “I would never, not in a hundred years, toy with your feelings.”

“Your intentions, Ronan.” Adam demands, afraid of where Ronan’s answer will take them.

“I was waiting for an appropriate time, I thought a proposal so soon would scare you away.”

Adam tenses in surprise. He watches Ronan’s face, looking for the sign of a lie. All he sees is sincerity. He sighs.

“Nevertheless, Declan is right,” Adam says, not letting himself hope. “We are too different economically, eventually, you’d get tired of me.”

“What do you mean get tired of you?” Ronan says, disbelieving, “Adam, I’d want you no matter what. I’d adore you even if you had your hands on my neck.”

“What?” Adam whispers, barely gets out.

“I love you,” Ronan says. “How could I ever not want you?”

Adam swallows, shaken and confused. “But what your brother said about me, it’s all true.”

“Yes, and?” Ronan asks. “You are not a gentleman’s son, yes, but you are so much more. Adam you are intelligent and loyal, you are hardworking, logical, beautiful and witty. There is not a single aspect to your personality that is forgettable. You are as close to perfect as a human can possibly get.”

Despite himself, Adam chuckles, his breath coming out slightly watery. “I am not perfect.”

Ronan steps closer to him. “Of course you are not perfect,” he says, but his voice is suddenly kind. Adam cannot imagine what has made him so. “If you were, you would not have fought me so pointlessly. I thought…” He stops, unable to go on, and Adam glances at him.

“What did you think?” Adam asks.

“I was so confused. I thought that I’d done something wrong. That you were gone forever. That you no longer wanted me.”

Adam laughs at the absurdity of such a statement. “As if,” he says. “I will always want you.”

“You say that,” Ronan answers. “Yet, you let your insecurities take you away from me.”

Adam bites his lip, ashamed. “I feel--”

“Stop feeling,” Ronan’s hand comes up to cover Adam’s mouth. “Stop thinking, for that matter. Do I need to say it again for you to believe me? I love you. I love you so very much. These past few months have been hell, did you know? Stop thinking about how I am better than you.”

Adam grunts in protest.

“I am not,” Ronan says, his hand leaves Adam’s mouth to cradle his chin. “You are everything, Adam.”

Adam watches him quietly. “I’ve been so stupid,” he says.

Ronan hums in agreement.

“I was worried for you,” Adam continues. “You hurt yourself.”

“Not terribly,” Ronan says. His fingers begin releasing Adam’s chin, but at Adam’s objection they remain. “Were you really worried for me?”

“I told myself it was not my fault,” Adam answers. “But I knew that it was.”

Ronan’s other hand, the one not holding Adam’s chin, skims over Adam’s neck and grips his hair. “You can make it up to me,” Ronan says. He looks as if he might close the distance between them and kiss Adam, but he does not do it. “Will you?”

Adam nods as best as he can. “Why won’t you kiss me?”

Ronan’s response is a knowing smile.

“Are you still angry?” Adam asks.

“No.”

“Then why?”

“You kiss me,” Ronan says.

“Why?”

“I want you to kiss me first.”

So Adam does. He kisses Ronan for the first time in months and feels relief. Everything, every little feeling that has kept him unhappy seems to depart. He’d made a mistake, he knows this now, has known it for a while. He’d let his pride blind his judgment and had made both his and Ronan’s life miserable.

“I’m very lucky, you know,” Adam says, pulling away. Nearby, the rain hits the roof of the belvedere, a melody that calms.

“I know you are,” Ronan says and cackles. He looks happy for the first in weeks, and Adam vows to do his best to keep him this way.

“No, do not make light,” Adam says. “I am lucky, that you don’t hate me… after everything.”

“You are,” Ronan says again, but the teasing does not reach his eyes.

They kiss again.

The rain does not let up, and after moment, Ronan pulls Adam into it, kissing him as the rain soaks them both.

Adam laughs when they pull away. His clothes are sticking to his body, his hair is dripping. Ronan looks profoundly happy.

“So,” he says, crushing Adam against him and whispering in his ear, despite the rain. “Marriage?”

“What?”

“You wanted to marry me, that’s what you said,” Ronan says loudly.

Adam groans. “I never said that.”

“Yes you did, implicitly, you cannot take it back. You might as well have proposed to me.”

“That was not a proposal,” Adam says and makes a decision. Stepping out of Ronan’s embrace, he drops on his knees and looks up at Ronan. The rain is falling into his eyes and his heart is beating loudly in chest, begging to escape, terrified of the moment and Adam’s instantaneous decision. Adam ignores the beating of his own heart and holds Ronan’s gaze as he says, “but this is.”

Ronan stares at him, speechless. “What?”

“I’d like to marry you,” Adam responds, smiling. “What do you say?”

Ronan drops down on his knees next to Adam. Their trousers are going to be very muddy when they stand. “Are you joking?”

“No,” Adam says. “Were you?”

“No.”

“So?”

Ronan hesitates. “You have yet to mention love.”

Adam blinks, “Have I not mentioned it?”

“No.”

“Well,” Adam says slowly. “I suppose I could tell you that while I sulked in your guest room on that fatal day, I came to the realization that I was in love with you. Then, as I stupidly took myself away from you, I realized again and again, how my heart no longer belonged to me. I could tell you that I’ve fallen desperately and irrevocably in love with you, but what is the point if you will not marry me?”

Ronan’s previous surprise was nothing compared to the look he sports now. He opens and closes his mouth several times, yet no words leave his mouth. Finally, a desperate noise which resembles Adam’s name leaves him.

“Ronan?” Adam asks, nervous now, in the face of Ronan’s silence.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” Adam asks, he blinks, trying to get the rain out of his eyes.

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” Ronan says.

They meet in the middle this time, hands clutching at each others’ clothes, lips desperate. They kiss until the rain stops and the sun begins drying their clothes.

\--

**Epilogue.**

That day they return to Raven’s Nest dirty and disheveled, and have no time to hide before Gansey catches them. He takes the both of them hostage, demanding explanations.

“Did the two of you fight?” Gansey asks, worried.

Ronan snorts. Adam is pleased to notice the lack of contempt and the presence of joy in the action.

“Yes,” Adam says. “Not, physically,” he adds quickly, at Gansey’s alarmed expression. “There was no physical altercation.”

“Well,” Ronan adds. “There _was_ a physical altercation.”

“Shut up, Ronan.” Adam holds up his hand to quiet Ronan. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“According to you,” Ronan counters.

Gansey is looking back and forth between them. “Are you… flirting?” He asks, his tone amazed.

Adam burns, embarrassed, and even Ronan has the sense to look a bit mollified. “Maybe.”

“Alright, I need you both to be as honest with me as possible,” Gansey demands, although he still looks confused.

And so they are, and they tell him everything.

He is furious with them, then he is happy for them.

“I cannot believe the two of you,” he says finally.

“Don’t blame me,” Ronan says, holding his palms up in a gesture of surrender. “It was all _his_ fault.”

Adam does not argue, he does think that the fight was his fault.

“Not _all_ his fault,” Gansey says, coming to Adam’s defense, and he and Ronan wrangle with each other for a while.

“Will the two of you get married, then?” Gansey asks a while later. “Did you think, maybe we could--”

“No!”

“In your dreams, old man.”

“But,” Gansey splutters. “You did not even hear my sentence.”

“I know exactly what you were going to suggest,” Ronan says. “And I would advise you to ask your future wife her opinion before you try to have a double wedding.”

“But--”

“I don’t think Blue would like it,” Adam says quietly.

“But--”

“I really don’t want to get married in the same church as you,” Ronan cuts in.

“Fine,” Gansey says. “Alright, forget I even asked.”

“You didn’t ask,” Adam teases and Gansey groans.

“I think I liked you better when you were fighting,” Gansey says. “At least then you didn’t gang up on me.”

“Well I’m glad someone can think of it with fondness,” Ronan says. “I cannot.”

“Sadly, I cannot either,” Gansey responds. “So, if you will not hold a joint ceremony with me and my future wife, will the two of you at least help me plan it?”

“Gladly.”

\--

Gansey and Blue marry on a rare, sunny day.

After the ceremony, as the two drive away in a carriage, Ronan stands next to Adam, wrapping his arms around Adam’s shoulders, and watching the newlyweds depart.

The overall cheer must be contagious because Ronan looks absolutely radiant as he leans close to whisper in Adam’s ear.

“Excited?” he asks, voice low.

“For what?” Adam turns slightly in Ronan’s arms to look at his face.

“Our turn,” Ronan answers smiling.

“Are you?”

Ronan kisses his cheek softly as they watch the carriage disappear into the horizon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading friends. It's done. I actually wrote this massive thing and posted it.
> 
> What did you think of the sappy ending? I am very sappy, I can't help it. Romance runs in my veins. Also it's true, I really have a rain fetish. 
> 
> comments are greatly appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found [here](http://waroftheposes.tumblr.com/) and I love to chat.


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